Login   Sign Up 



 

Enchanted Wood

by tusker 

Posted: 04 June 2009
Word Count: 594
Summary: For Graema's challenge: Broceliande Wood, in France, is a real place of legend.


Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced



Jean Paul came across the girl at the edges of Broceliande Wood. ‘Have you seen the white stag?’ the beautiful girl, Morganza, asked him.

Jean Paul shook his head. ‘I’ve not seen one,’ he said. ‘But I’ve heard the rumours.’

She smiled. ‘Maybe I know where you might find it. Would you like me to show you.?’ Wanting to spend time with this lovely girl, and anxious to be the first one to bag the fabled beast, he agreed.

Then she frowned with slight disapproval. ‘You won’t need that,’ she told him, pointing to his hunting rifle.

With reluctance, he concealed his rifle under the cover of alder saplings and followed Morganza as she led him through dense foliage.

Ten minutes later, she veered off well trodden paths and, as their search continued, she explained about the flora and fauna that grew in the wood; a knowledge, as a seasoned hunter, he already knew, but listened, without interruption, enjoying the melodic flow of her words.

Now and again, she stopped. Turned and looked at him with eyes the colour of violets flecked with grey. Her smile, he thought, was the smile of a beautiful enchantress and, as they progressed, thoughts of the white stag diminished.

When, at last, they entered a glade, they both stood still listening to silence. ‘Do you want to make love to me?’ she broke the silence with that hushed, breathy question.

Taken aback, wanting to tell her that of course he did, he could only nod like a shy schoolboy. ‘They say if you make love here, in this glade, the white stag will appear.’ She took a step towards him, undoing tiny pearl buttons on her soft blue dress, letting it fall to the ground.

Up above their heads, an oak tree stirred its leaves, like a sigh of expectation. Wordlessly, Jean Paul’s arm went around her slender waist. Gently, Morganza pressed her slender body against his, and he could smell the aroma of lavender in her long, dark hair.

Then Morganza stepped away from his embrace, saying with a teasing smile, ‘Your turn.’

Groaning at the sight of her beauty and his longing for her, Jean Paul scrabbled at his belt and the zip of his jeans. After he stepped out of them, Morganza waggled a playful finger at him, saying, ‘Now your shirt.’

Undoing the buttons of his shirt, he shrugged it off and as he did so, a white stag burst through the undergrowth its antlers upon a noble head as straight as Jean Paul’s erection.

‘Here is what you're searching for!' Morganza moving towards the beast, kissed its his snout and whispered into its ears.

‘You killed his mother,’ she said, turning to Jean Paul who stood naked and helpless staring in horror at the stag. ‘You shot her. Skinned her. Ate her.’ The white stag snorted and pawed at the ground. ‘You shot his father. Sold his body to a butcher.’ Rigid with fear, Jean Paul was unable to move. ‘Now it’s time to make amends.’

Morganza stepped aside and the stag charged, the tips of both antlers piercing Jean Paul’s stomach and chest. Roaring the beast tossed him into the air, like a feather, and his body landed in a bloody heap against the trunk of a birch tree.

During Jean Paul’s final moments, he saw, through a haze of agony, Morganza, still naked, climb upon the back of the white stag. As his last breath bubbled red from his lips, they both galloped away into the darkest depths of Broceliande Wood.








Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



V`yonne at 15:35 on 04 June 2009  Report this post
I loved the ending - thought that Morganza was a bit easy ;
You have a sentence problem here
Now and again, she stopped. Turned and looked at him with eyes the colour of violets flecked with grey.

and somewhere there was a
.?

Great revenge tale.

Bunbry at 16:10 on 04 June 2009  Report this post
Yep works for me Jennifer, a nice old fashioned story.

Mind you, if I were a girl, I wouldn't want to sit on a stag without knickers on - he might have fleas!

Nick

tusker at 19:30 on 04 June 2009  Report this post
Not this magic white stag, Nick. It's magic.

jennifer

GraemeR at 12:10 on 05 June 2009  Report this post
Nice twist in the story Jen - really enjoyed this. There are not enough dark fairy tales these days

tusker at 06:39 on 06 June 2009  Report this post
Thanks Graeme. Glad you liked it.

Jennifer

Prospero at 18:06 on 06 June 2009  Report this post
A fine piece, Jennifer. Thanks for the read.

Best

Prosp

Nella at 14:07 on 07 June 2009  Report this post
Hi Jennifer,
I just stumbled across this while browsing a bit. Enjoyed the read very much - a nice blend of modern reality and fantasy. Typical Jennifer!

Maybe I know where you might find it
This sounds repetitive. Maybe drop the maybe or the might?

Best,
Robin



tusker at 14:48 on 08 June 2009  Report this post
Thanks for popping in, Robin. Glad you liked it.

Thanks too for your pointer.

Jennifer


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .