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Invisible prisoner

by joanie 

Posted: 25 April 2009
Word Count: 25
Summary: For the Flash Poetry Challenge this week. 'Imprisonment' and 'Discovery'


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On the surface
a full life filled

with family
friends and fun.

Below, the despair
of discoveries

never made, cards
never dealt. Deals

never done.






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Comments by other Members



FelixBenson at 13:10 on 25 April 2009  Report this post
Hi Joanie

This is really well crafted. The syllabics, the alliteration, the rhyme and repetition of 'never' really gives this a rich tone of loss and time passing. Oooh very sad. Very affecting. One to re-read and read aloud. One to hit home and identify with.

Which reminds me - I also listened to your Just a Minute slots on the radio the other day. I really enjoyed them - but also wanted to say that I thought you were such a great reader - you have a really fabulous voice and good timing. It is not something that is easy to do!! Nice one. You must let me know when you are on again.

joanie at 13:12 on 25 April 2009  Report this post
Thanks for that great encouragement, Kirsty!! I really appreciate it.

joanie

V`yonne at 16:51 on 25 April 2009  Report this post
That flows so well, Joan and yet it's so deep, I keep reading it over and over.

Nella at 16:54 on 25 April 2009  Report this post
Wonderful, Joanie, I like this a lot. And agree with what Kirsty and Oonah have said.
Robin

joanie at 19:25 on 25 April 2009  Report this post
Thanks, Oonah and Robin. Glad you liked it!

joanie

Findy at 09:12 on 26 April 2009  Report this post
short but really nice. Agree with everyone. loved the last three lines especially.

findy



BaMc at 09:19 on 26 April 2009  Report this post
So delicately balanced, fine and controlled. Alliteration and repetition works wonderfully.

Barbara

joanie at 14:26 on 26 April 2009  Report this post
Findy and Barbara, thank you very much!

joanie

tractor at 16:02 on 26 April 2009  Report this post
Hi Joanie, skilfully done - universal echoes of what might have been.

Cheers

Mark

joanie at 17:08 on 26 April 2009  Report this post
Thanks, Mark!


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