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An Angel On My Bed

by llydstp 

Posted: 15 April 2003
Word Count: 186


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Content Warning
This piece and/or subsequent comments may contain strong language.


An angel sat on the edge of my bed
Her breasts nestling soft in ivory coloured fabric
Cradling them
Yet leaving most of their beauty exposed
Revealing glimpses of cream-white flesh
Tantalizing in the dead-of-night glimmer
Her face cast downwards
Eyes avoiding mine
But surely not through modesty
This was an act of kindness
For she knew that if my eyes met hers
Then she would trap me
And I should forever be a prisoner of some dreadful destiny
She was trying to save me
But I was beyond saving
It was too late
I was ensnared by the erotic beauty of her nipples
Blush-pink against the soft full whiteness of her bosom
An apparition that must have trapped a thousand men before me
Sending them masturbating to their doom
And then a noise
A quiet rustling as her stockinged legs moved gently
Across the sheets of my sleeping-place
And shocked into consciousness by the knowledge that she was real
I realized that this angel was the woman with whom I had recently slept
Her secret lips still moist with the sperm of my love
Together we had visited a world where passion sweeps away tenderness
And breasts become tits
Her vagina an aching hairy cunt
We had voyaged to the land of Fuck







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Comments by other Members



Adina at 16:52 on 15 April 2003  Report this post
I love the mix of innocence, and eroticism in this poem. To me this makes me think that sometimes we idealise people to be something that they're not. Is there a sense of regret in the characters actions as the use of strong and blunt words such as fuck and cunt are used? he is removed from the dreamlike state of seeing angel to seeing the woman for what she really is, a meaningless one night stand? Perhaps I'm reading it wrong but I like it.

llydstp at 19:09 on 15 April 2003  Report this post
This is not about a one night stand - it is about the wonderful realisation that this woman who was sharing my bed was not some unattainable dream, but was in fact the woman who shares my life. It sums up our relationship: intense, pure love combined with incredible lustful passion. ADINA, I am glad you liked it - your observation regarding the mixture of innocence and eroticism is exactly what I intended.

roger at 13:06 on 29 April 2003  Report this post
Bloody hell, Steve, you do good poetry as well!

Oh well, at least I'm three years younger than you.

llydstp at 16:59 on 29 April 2003  Report this post
Roger, you're a star. I do enjoy your comments.
Thanks
Steve

pene at 11:54 on 26 May 2003  Report this post
I feel very inexperienced to comment on work of this quality, I too loved the mix of innocence and crudety. It worked very well.

llydstp at 20:57 on 30 May 2003  Report this post
Pene
Thank you for your kind and generous comments.
Steve

shaunsouthern at 21:31 on 26 July 2003  Report this post
The mix of innocence and crudity is reminiscent of a growing relationship. How long before you can fart in front of a lover? Still, I bet you read the Sport....

Oh come on, this is the humour section....

llydstp at 11:37 on 28 July 2003  Report this post
Dear Shaun
First of all I would like to inform you that this is NOT the humour section. Secondly, I do NOT read the Sport. I am surprised at your insensitivity and obvious total lack of understanding of the poem.
Steve

Account Closed at 11:04 on 30 September 2003  Report this post
Steve

I've just discovered the poetry categories, and looked at the 3 Erotic ones. I posted 2 as General that belong in this category, and have just commented on one of the others that I'm pleased to see poets 'brave' enough to post erotic poetry. Personally, I was uncertain if it was permitted, so thanks for leading the charge.

Back to the plot ... a wonderfully sexually charged piece, with its brave ending: brave in its use of crudity ... crudity with a purpose, not gratuitous.

Steve (another one ...)

llydstp at 12:09 on 30 September 2003  Report this post
Steve
Thank you for your perceptive and generous comments.
Best wishes,
Steve.

Fearless at 18:52 on 04 March 2004  Report this post
Gentle and direct. A lyric where a lover can talk as a lover, but also as a man. Write on,

fearless

llydstp at 18:56 on 04 March 2004  Report this post
Woz
You have summed it up perfectly. Thank you.
Steve.


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