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Two little boys

by Sam Rix 

Posted: 05 November 2003
Word Count: 98
Summary: My two little boys playing in the snow

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Two little boys

Runny nose, constant sniffles,
Dewdrops saved for the cuff.
Wet hair, cold ears,
Hats thrown off in wild abandon.
Red cheeks, beetroot smiles,
Frosty faces peak from scarves.

Muffled squeals, braying laughter,
Falling down and rolling over.
Cold hands, freezing fingers
Gloves are wet from gathering white cinders.
Numb toes, bright wellies,
Tracks for miles in regular spaces.

Time for home,
We trudge like snow soldiers.
Hot breath, poised in air,
Evaporating on the flurry.
Big coarse hands, warming skin,
Warming the little souls within.

My two little boys playing in the snow

Sam Rix

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Comments by other Members

Jubbly at 17:12 on 05 November 2003  Report this post
What a lovely poem conjuring up the image of winter and childhood beautifully. I especially liked the dewdrop on the cufflink line. More please.

Sam Rix at 19:22 on 05 November 2003  Report this post
Hi Jubbly,
thanks for the vote of confidence, I tend to be a little embarassed in revealing my poems!
I'm not happy with a couple of lines, especially;
Hot breath, poised in air,
Evaporating on the flurry.

It needs work, it's close, but not nearly close enough!

spud at 21:57 on 05 November 2003  Report this post
Hi Sam

What a beautifully evocative poem. I love the imagery of the 'white cinders'. Yep, I can really relate to this one, having two little ones of my own and remembering the fun we had last winter.
Great stuff!

With regards to being embarrassed, well this is an ideal place to 'reveal'. Us poets are a sensitive lot, and the members of WW respect that and comment accordingly. So don't be shy and please share some more.



roovacrag at 18:29 on 06 November 2003  Report this post
HA HA HA Sounds like my son, and 3 grandsons
enjoyed it. xx Alice

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