Login   Sign Up 



 

Test Day

by Bunbry 

Posted: 30 March 2009
Word Count: 462
Summary: For Findy's exam challenge


Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced


The invigilator stands at the front of the class checking her watch. Mine is on my desk along with my other exam essentials – a bottle of water, a few mints [sugar helps the brain apparently] and of course my lucky Simpsons pen. I know it’s childish to place one’s faith in such objects but it brings me a morsel of comfort.

While we wait for the ‘off’ I glance around the room at my classmates. Benson appears terrified [as usual] while the Baker twins are just looking plain bewildered. Smythe Minor meanwhile is sitting at the desk next to me and is looking as smug as ever. I pull out my tongue to annoy the prig, but he’s not looking and I’m nearly caught by The Invigilator, who happens to glance up from her watch at that moment. But instead of scolding me she speaks.

“Class, you may turn over your papers and begin.”

That’s it – no ‘good luck’ or anything.

The first few questions are a breeze, which was exactly what I was expecting, a gentle introduction for the timid of heart. But question five stops me in my tracks. Did we ever cover this? I’m darned if I can remember it if we did. But then I see what they have done, crafty blighters, and I’m away again. A quick glance at Smythe Minor tells me he’s having no problems at all – smoke is practically coming from his pen.

Focus, I tell myself, stop day dreaming!

Question nine has me completely perplexed, but then I remember what father had said about employing a degree of lateral thinking to some of the questions and I’m off racing through the paper again.

Then Smythe makes a funny noise and I stop to look, and I can’t believe what I’m seeing. He has tears running down his cheeks and he’s scrunching up his paper!! I know he hopes for a career in law and I can see his dreams disintegrating before his eyes. I’d say something, but by now a teacher is leading him from the room quietly so as not to disturb the rest of us.

I’m shaken, but make it to the end without any real problems, but I’m in the hall when I realize I’ve left my lucky pen on the desk, and head back to the classroom to retrieve it.

Two teachers are talking quietly about the incident with Smythe, and I strain to hear what they are saying.

“I really can’t see that SATS tests for children of this age is anything but a bad thing,” says one teacher to another.

I pop my pen into my satchel and wonder to myself if teachers can ever really appreciate the stresses of being seven years old...






Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



tusker at 15:08 on 30 March 2009  Report this post
I really enjoyed this Nick, but it brought back awful memories.

I identified myself with Benson, frozen with terror. We didn't have SATS but we had to do tests once a week.

If a pupil cried they got a slap or knuckles pressed into the back of the neck. The cane if a pupil peed their pants. Then we all said prayers after the lesson or test ended.

I noted that YOU DIDN'T KILL ANYONE!!!

Jennifer



Bunbry at 16:29 on 30 March 2009  Report this post
School sounds horrid!!

I went to a great school - it was approved [boom boom].

And I have decided to try and redress the life/death balance I cannot kill another person for 53 years.

Thanks for the kind comments although I'm not sure if you understood it was supposed to have a comedy ending!

Nick

tusker at 16:54 on 30 March 2009  Report this post
Yes, I did Nick.

At first I thought he was much older they way he talked til the end. He's a kid, but sounds like a worldly kid.

I suppose old memories took over. So glad to leave school before my 16th birthday without attempting any exams. Back then, it didn't matter a jot to me.

About redressing your killer instinct, it won't last. That halo will start slipping.

Jennifer

Forbes at 18:02 on 30 March 2009  Report this post
Very clever Nick

wrong footing us into believing this was a much older chap. I think SATs testing is just plain daft. It starts at to young an age, and is too intrusive over the kids' careers. What was wrong with a quick check at 11 to make sure you're not an imbecile? Then perhaps monitoring to check they've been streamed. But not to the extent that the kids' are put through at present.

There I'll just go and put my soap box away now...

Good story, nice twist.

Cheers

AVis

Findy at 18:56 on 30 March 2009  Report this post
Hi Nick

I somehow expected you to be the first to post, but I expected a hospital setting from you

Great story, enjoyed it very much, specially the twist at the end. Could identify with the MC throughout, my son just finished his first major school exam today-the one that decides his subjects for high school, and I could totally identify with the reaction of the kids but so young, I am shocked!

findy



Bunbry at 19:50 on 30 March 2009  Report this post
Thanks for the kind comment Avis. I saw two little lads on telly today who wanted to get into Oxford before they were eight or some such thing, so I thought about how a posh and bright kid would approach his SATS aged 7!

Nick

PS I had a glance at your candle story. Now I do get it, so does this bar me from getting that interesting email everyone else is getting?

Shucks, I thought it might...

Bunbry at 19:55 on 30 March 2009  Report this post
Findy I dare not do a hospital story in case I kill someone by accident.

We have an unwritten rule in the group, that you don't kill more than 12 billion people a year [a billion a month - which for most people is enough]. But if you glance at the 'Dead Zone' thread, you will see I'm over my limit already!!

Thanks for the kind comments.

Nick

Forbes at 01:17 on 31 March 2009  Report this post
Yep, it's only on offer to the innocents who don't get it!

Avis ;

Findy at 06:32 on 31 March 2009  Report this post
Avis Huh! ;



J0ul35 at 10:06 on 31 March 2009  Report this post
I've been attempting to catch up on reading some work from this group and everyone seems to have some really good flash fiction for show, and this is no exception.

Great flash

Julie



Bunbry at 13:13 on 31 March 2009  Report this post
Thanks Julie for those kind words, but I'm having some second thoughts about this one as I'm not sure the 'reveal' at the end that he is only 7 is strong enough and so reduces the impact.

I might have a tinker with this still!

Nick

Prospero at 13:38 on 31 March 2009  Report this post
Good effort, Nick, brought back the horror of all the exams I have struggled through down the years.

Best

John

Bunbry at 16:16 on 31 March 2009  Report this post
Cheers John - I've a sinking feeling that it needed a couple of deaths to spice it up a bit!

I've had a read of your death filled candle story and was very impressed!

Nick

Jumbo at 18:37 on 31 March 2009  Report this post
Nick

I love the posh, adult voice in this - and the description of his fellow examinees as your character looks around the room before the exam starts.

And Smythe bursting into tears is brilliant.

Very enjoyable. Thanks for the read.

john

Bunbry at 10:41 on 01 April 2009  Report this post
Thanks for those kind words although I still have a number of doubts about this one!!

Nick

Forbes at 13:40 on 01 April 2009  Report this post
I knew this reminded me of something - remember 7up, 14up, 21up...

V`yonne at 17:25 on 01 April 2009  Report this post
Nicely done Nick and funny - but not if you see what I mean. I remember being 7 as traumatic enough just trying to read - that bitch of a teacher used to pull my plaits if I made a mistake and gave me a stammer for years. I'm sure those SATs do awful damange.

Jordan789 at 05:32 on 02 April 2009  Report this post
Nick,

I enjoyed this because it brought me back to the testing days. The only issue I can see arising with some readers, myself included, is the nature of the voice. Children are damned hard to write, and to make one a genius as well it certainly adds another layer. I like how you sort of kept an immature side to him, with his tongue taunt, but it also didn't feel quite right. After some thought, I don't think this hyper-intelligent kid would act so impulsively: he can, but it doesn't fit with the calculated child in the rest of the story.

For a pretty solid guide to writing genius children characters, check out Salinger's short stories: For Esme with Love and Squalor is rather adorable until you realize it's about a war. Also Salinger's Teddy is about a child genius who has not only mastered meditation but also has taught himself how to tell the future. I don't know what Salinger's hang up is with child genius, but in Frannie and Zoe his cast includes an entire family of genius children, all of whom compete on some radio game show program and do rather well.

Jordan

Bunbry at 08:15 on 02 April 2009  Report this post
We are hearing some dreadful tales of early school years Oonah, I hope things are better these days.
Thanks for the kind comment.

And Avis - I remember that show too!

Nick

Bunbry at 08:19 on 02 April 2009  Report this post
Hi Jordan, he's a clever kid but not a genius [he struggled with a few questions on a bog-standard test]. He's more posh than anything else [and posh people can sound cleverer than they are].

I felt I had to put in some little clues re his age to stop the reader feeling cheated at the end, and the tongue pulling was one of them.

Thanks for the book tips - I'll look them up!

Nick

Inspiration at 10:08 on 03 April 2009  Report this post
This was very clever and something most people can relate to. The shock with Smythe works a treat.

Well done!

XXXInniXXX

Bunbry at 17:13 on 03 April 2009  Report this post
Thanks Inni, you are too kind!

Nick

choille at 19:51 on 04 April 2009  Report this post
Hi Nick,
Sorry Nick I missed this until now - I must pay more attention in class.I must pay more attention in class.I must pay more attention in class.I must pay more attention in class.I must pay more attention in class.I must pay more attention in class.

I really like this - the tension, Smythe blubbing & throwing away his future, and of course all at the age of seven.
I thought it is really well written - all the observations & the tension.

Great stuff.
All the best
Caroline.



Bunbry at 10:35 on 05 April 2009  Report this post
Thanks Caroline for those kind words.

I'm still not happy with the ending myself, feel it needs more impact.

Nick


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .