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Meeting A Dream

by tusker 

Posted: 11 March 2009
Word Count: 385
Summary: Flash 1 challenge: Encounter.


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As Tess stepped past grazing sheep and goats, she mused upon the fact that, only five minutes before, a rare curiosity had put a temporary halt to her journey.

Despite having to be in Stonehouse by noon, she’d pulled into a country lay-by, and found herself walking up a gentle incline which, when she thought about it, had seemed to have appeared out from nowhere.

Arriving at the top, she looked down and saw the comforting sight of her red car still parked beside a stile. Then turning, searching for land marks, her gaze fell upon a huge, oval indentation that resembled a mossy platter and, within that indentation, sat a large, grassy mound shaped like a green suet pudding.

She gripped her mobile, like a talisman, and as she did so, it pulsated in her grasp. ‘I’m waiting, Tess, as you’ve been waiting for me,’ the text read, shimmering black letters.

Then a low rumbling sound reached her. At the side of the mound, a grassy door groaned open. Frightened but rooted to the spot, Tess heard a familiar, honeyed voice say, ‘I’m so glad you’ve come.’

As she watched a tall stranger approach, wrapped in a golden cloak and hood, she prayed it was a dream; a recurring dream she’d been having over many months.

The stranger, on reaching her side, smiled a gentle smile and, as he smiled, she noted his cute, snub nose and boyish curls damp against a noble forehead.

Then, taking the mobile phone from her hand, he dropped it to the ground, saying, ‘You won’t need this, anymore, Tess.’

She went to grab it up, but a cloven foot stamped upon it, and Tess let out a groan of awed fascination.

‘You’re not frightened of me, Tess. You desire me,’ he murmured in her ear.

She blushed at the memory of her nightly, erotic dreams. He nodded as if he too had shared those dreams and, close by, goats and sheep bleated as if in knowing unison.

‘But they’re only dreams,’ she managed to find her voice. ‘You’re a myth. Not real.’

Gently, without speaking, he led her to the entrance of his domain, Arkadia, and the sound of pipes mingling with the laughter of Pan’s nymphs wafted out to greet them on a heady scent of desire.







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Comments by other Members



Elbowsnitch at 15:51 on 11 March 2009  Report this post
Jennifer, wish I had dreams like this! Instead of nightmares about not being able to find the right classrooms at school. I really like the gentle incline appearing from nowhere and the green suet pudding. But your Pan is unusually calm and reassuring - to my mind, Pan/Dionysus is a somewhat wilder, more frightening entity.

tusker at 16:12 on 11 March 2009  Report this post
Hi Frances,

Growing up, I was a secret and avid reader of Greek Mythology, instead doing homework and studying RE.

But Pan doesn't chase mymphs anymore. He changed when he moved to the Cotswolds.

Another dream.

Jennifer

V`yonne at 18:02 on 11 March 2009  Report this post
Frances,
nightmares about not being able to find the right classrooms at school.
Does everyone have that dream, I wonder?

Jennifer, I think the most disturbing thing is that the sheep were 'in on it' ;0 I always loved the parts of The Narnian Chronicles where C.S. Lewis had mythological creatures appears - dancing fauns, driads etc. So I loved this too.

tusker at 19:17 on 11 March 2009  Report this post
Thanks Oonah,

We Welsh can't get away from sheep.

Jennifer

Forbes at 19:27 on 11 March 2009  Report this post
Bit of a stretch for me this. Why did Pan make is move on her now? What happened before the story to cause it? Why couldn't she remember? Had she died? These questions occurred and stopped me getting into the spirit I think. The short paragraphs put me off too, made the whole seem so... insubstantial. Which it is not. It is a nightmare of a story, and if taken as real - very, very frightening.

Sorry to be a drag.

Cheers

AVis

tusker at 19:33 on 11 March 2009  Report this post
It's ok Avis.

It's a case of is she dreaming or not.

By the way, happy birthday.

Jennifer

Forbes at 23:05 on 11 March 2009  Report this post
Thank you!

Cheers

AVis

Jumbo at 23:32 on 11 March 2009  Report this post
Jennifer

Very strange - less cheese around bedtime would cure most of this, methinks!!

And Arkadia - had to Google this, thought I was missing something. Am I?

So poor old Tess had crossed the line between dreams and reality, has she? There'll be trouble now!

Loved the cloven foot stamping on the mobile. We should have more of that.

Most enjoyable. Thanks for sharing.

Cheers

john





Jordan789 at 23:35 on 11 March 2009  Report this post
I liked the tension and plot of this. It's very creepy.

Only comment I have is to try to tighten up the writing a bit. Some phrases could be more accurate. ex.
As Tess stepped past grazing sheep and goats, she mused upon the fact that, only five minutes before, a rare curiosity had put a temporary halt to her journey.


The image is hard to grasp. Is she on the road? Is she within a flock of sheeps and goats? I wonder, also, what the "rare curiousity" was? She "mused upon the fact" needs to be cut. This would be stronger, I think, if there's some scene detail; replace the odd phrasing that basically boils down to "she decided to take a detour" and tell us some more about the place. Or about Tess. Who is this lass?

She gripped her mobile, like a talisman, and as she did so, it pulsated in her grasp. ‘I’m waiting, Tess, as you’ve been waiting for me,’ the text read, shimmering black letters.


i loved this, how closely she held the phone, and how he had invaded her most precious telephone.

Jordan

tusker at 08:12 on 12 March 2009  Report this post
Thanks John,

Pickled onions can do it too.

Jennifer

tusker at 08:13 on 12 March 2009  Report this post
Thanks Jordan,

I hope she's dreaming.

Jennifer

Bunbry at 23:07 on 12 March 2009  Report this post
Hi Jennifer, I think this story needs to be taken in context [I suspect!].

As Sci fi it's pants!!

But as a fantasy it's on the nose!!

Hope I've got it right.

Nick

tusker at 15:22 on 13 March 2009  Report this post
Yes, Nick, it's fantasy.

You've hit it in one.

Jennifer



Prospero at 18:37 on 13 March 2009  Report this post
This is a very different Pan to the one I met in rural Wales, but then I only saw his face.

Along the lines of the Gothic fantasies of the Victorians, this has many of those elements: the powerful and mesmeric older man, the mysterious hideaway, the abduction and seduction. No wonder so many Victorians girls married much older men.

Best

Prosp




tusker at 16:22 on 14 March 2009  Report this post
Thanks John for your thoughtful comments.

Yes, you're right regarding enigmatic, Victorian literary seducers.

Dracula, too, was sensuous in a strange, frightening way.

Jennifer

tractor at 17:37 on 14 March 2009  Report this post
Hi Jennifer,

very strange and unexpected, just like most dreams.

Cheers

Mark

crowspark at 22:51 on 14 March 2009  Report this post
I've tried that chat up line. Perhaps I should have worked harder on the grassy mound front...
Enjoyed the sheep, goats and cloven hoof connections.
Loved that ending! This flash reminded me a bit of Algenon Blackwood.

Bill

tusker at 09:37 on 15 March 2009  Report this post
Many thanks Mark and Bill.

Jennifer


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