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The Sinless and The Godless

by Iagoybardd 

Posted: 17 January 2009
Word Count: 130
Summary: After the 'Psalmist', and in the spirit of Gerard Manley Hopkins


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What is man that roads worry him?
Mortal man that wealth rest on his mind?
Within this godlessness there is no sin,
Nor total Hell but that of seeing man unkind.
There was a time when man would see his worthlessness
When simpletons and fools were equal in their wealth
That was the moment of strange histories
Then did kings rule both with might and stealth.
For in that time both God and Man were worthily regaled.
And woman held in her esteem
With witches on a sinless stave impaled
And all belonged to God’s fantastic dream.
So when New Man reveres his road and railways
Or tries to lengthen life beyond his due
Recall that this was not a Godly wish
But Hell’s new life bedecked with Heaven’s hue.






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Comments by other Members



V`yonne at 11:42 on 17 January 2009  Report this post
I can see the themes from the one and the style of the other clearly but this amalgum is very good. I think the last 6 lines work particularly well becasue of their regularity which is what makes them stand out. On line 8 I'd probably have put 'then kings did rule' just for modern syntax' sake. The title is a great hook.

I particularly liked:
Within this godlessness there is no sin,
Nor total Hell but that of seeing man unkind.

for money is not evil but the love of it

Great stuff, James.

Nella at 16:55 on 17 January 2009  Report this post
This is very good, James.
I especially like this last line:
But Hell’s new life bedecked with Heaven’s hue.

Well done.
Robin

joanie at 19:12 on 17 January 2009  Report this post
I really enjoyed this, James. There is definitely a feel of the psalmist but with a modern up-date. I think the Gerard Manley Hopkins comes through very clearly too!

Normally I would say that I don't like capitals at the start of ines, but here it is right!!

The last four lines sum it up! Great.

joanie

<Added>

lines

Xenny at 14:01 on 28 February 2009  Report this post
Hi James,

I like this a lot. I think you have the tone and choice of words just right.

"What is man that roads worry him?"

I love that first line!


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