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A lazy Man

by keithhodges 

Posted: 15 December 2008
Word Count: 150
Summary: Something someone said once, I figured I'd give it a go in a little flash.


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She walked past him, and sighed. Picked up his magazine, looked at the girls on the front then looked at her self in the mirror.

She used to look like them you know, 5 years ago, when she was just 21.

5 years ago, before they were married with a child.

“You know, you could really help out some time, like around the house”

He always used to help out, when they were growing up.

Now he looked different in his face, he sat slumped in his chair, belly poking out, watching football.

“What?”

He wasn’t going to lift a finger that was obvious.

Something had changed, she didn’t know what and he just looked at her, very confused.

“Do you know what,” she said, as the emotion built up in her voice. “I’m leaving; you’re not the man I married”

“Mel...” He replied tenderly “You live across the road”






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Comments by other Members



mel.c at 22:17 on 15 December 2008  Report this post
lol, lol, lol....you're funny....

NMott at 08:54 on 16 December 2008  Report this post
Lol, very funny.


“Do you know what” She said, as the emotion built up in her voice.

“I’m leaving; you’re not the man I married”


Since these two snippets of dialogue are said by the same character, they should be on the same line. Also there is a comma after '...what,' and the following word ('she' does not have a capital:

“Do you know what,” she said, as the emotion built up in her voice, “I’m leaving; you’re not the man I married”



- NaomiM



<Added>

oops, rogue winkie.


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