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The Paper Pusher

by keithhodges 

Posted: 12 December 2008
Word Count: 150
Summary: A flash fiction story about getting work in on time.


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“I’ll be pushing paper all afternoon” he said rubbing his small goatee.

We were worried about getting our essays in.

“Right,” I proclaimed as I stood “I’m going to print off my evidence”

I left the room quickly, into the white cold corridor, the dry egg yoke on my hoody was starting to peel.

“Hang on!” She said from behind, “I need to print mine too”

Together we battled the blistering wind, her new hair extensions flapping like a horse’s tail.

The library was warmer, it only took 2 minutes and we were done.

We left together, and headed for the exit.

“Let me see yours” She grabbed it, and flicked through as we wandered back across the road.

We reached the office and heard a noise, we slowly crept in not to make a sound.

That’s when we saw him.

In his element, 1000 sheets shoved against the wall.






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Comments by other Members



mel.c at 10:30 on 12 December 2008  Report this post
Ilove it, i love it, you should do micro stories you be wicked at it...

NMott at 11:11 on 12 December 2008  Report this post
Good opening line and excellent ending!

If you'd like feedback, below are my first impressions as I read through it. Most of the comments at the end are only relevant if you intend to expand on it, otherwise just ignore them.

we were worried about getting our essays in
- this might be better in the second line, as it's about the narrator, not the guy with the goatee.

I proclaimed as I stood - feels a little unfinished. 'Stood up' from what/where?

“I need to print mine to”

- typo: ...too"

Together we battled the blistering wind

- not sure 'blistering' works here, when joined with 'battled'. Also you could add a little direction, say they were crossing the college, or campus, grounds.

“Let me see yours” She grabbed it, and flicked through as we wandered back across the road.

- This begs a follow-up quip from the narrator.

her new hair extensions flapping like a horse’s tail.

- since there's more than one hair extension, maybe have:
her new hair extensions flapping like horse tails.


I think it could have done with a little more scene setting (an additional word here and there) - were they in college or university? Were they in class before going to the library? You could say 'college library', when you mention 'library'.
Is the chap with the goatee a teacher/lecturer?
What 'evidence' was the narrator talking about? - are they studying for a Law degree?
Is the narrator a boy or a girl?
What is the significence of the peeling, dry egg yolk? - other than it says the character's a bit of a slob, and probably a boy.


Overall a nice Flash.

- NaomiM


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