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Interview with a Novelist.

by Jubbly 

Posted: 30 October 2003
Word Count: 494
Summary: a sketch for radio


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Interview with a Novelist.

FX FICTIONAL RADIO PROGRAMME STING


Presenter
So, Amanda Walters you are a real working mother. You're a journalist, a columnist and mother of two beautiful children and now you've just written a best selling novel on the subject of women doing it all, entitled 'Isn't She Amazing. ' Tell us Amanda how do you do it?

Amanda
I donít know, I guess...I'm just amazing.

Presenter
How many hours a day to you work?

Amanda
Oh roughly....22.

Presenter
So how often do you see your children?

Amanda
Mmm, well I get back from work after they've gone to bed and generally I've left the house in the morning before they've got up and on weekends they go to my parents, you know just to give me a break.

Presenter
So it would be fair to say you hardly see them at all?

Amanda
What, no. I've got photos of them on my desk right next to a signed picture of Jeremy Paxman.

Presenter
So would you say having children has changed your life?


Amanda
Oh yes definitely, before I had kids I was a size eight and now I'm a ten, still we all have to make sacrifices eh? That's why I've given up potatoes, an Aitkens diet a day keeps the unsightly child bearing flabby hips away.

Presenter
Your book, "isn't she Amazing' is based on your weekly Guardian column by the same title.

Amanda
Yes, I write about my family life you know just the little things, the school run, supermarket shop, dental appointments, sports days all those details that go into family life.

Presenter
Do you actually do all the things you write about?

Amanda
Well I am a working mother.

Presenter
Do you have any help at all?

Amanda
I have a nanny to look after the children, a housekeeper to run the home, a man who does the garden and a chap that comes in to do odd jobs, oh no hang on, he's my husband.

Presenter
So in effect, though you write about an ordinary woman struggling to earn a living and look after her family you don't actually do anything yourself?

Amanda
Yes I do, I write it all down.

Presenter
Yes but I think you'll have to agree, your books' a bit of a fraud isn't it?


Amanda
In what way?


Presenter
Well you set out to make other women feel guilty by detailing all the extraordinary things you manage to accomplish as a working mother when in fact; you don't do any of it at all.

Amanda
Well of course not, how the hell would I get the bloody thing written if I had to do everything myself, don't be stupid.

Presenter
But surely that's the whole premise of your novel, women having it all?

Amanda
Exactly, you said it, it's fiction honey, now be an angel and pop to the loo for me, and Iím dying for a wee.


The End







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Comments by other Members



Anna Reynolds at 16:57 on 30 October 2003  Report this post
Jubbly, this is cute- and I bet I know which particular star author it's based on too. I think it could be even funnier if you let the build up happen maybe a little more slowly? so that maybe in the questions such as 'so it would be fair to say you hardly see them at all?' the answer might contain some actual instances of seeing the children, as they're handed over, etc- the longer we take to get to the punchline the better in some ways as the interviewer might not be quite as aggressive as she/he currently is. I don't know, what do you think? I can see this working really well on radio though as a sketch- or maybe even developed into something longer where it takes us the audience longer to click onto the truth. Lovely stuff.

Account Closed at 17:29 on 30 October 2003  Report this post
I got home from a long day at work, dark, raining, stuck in traffic, picked up two grizzly bairns, back home and had a quick ww to cheer me up and found this piece -great stuff! I loved it! Can't write more have to go and do the baths and make dinner...
Elspeth

Jubbly at 20:41 on 30 October 2003  Report this post
Oh thankyou Elspeth and Anna, what nice thoughts. I agree I could have built on the scene more, but I rushed it and submitted it for a womens sketch show on Radio 4, we'll see what they say eh?



<Added>

PS: Elspeth, you truly are Amazing!! How many damned half terms are there?

Jubbly at 20:51 on 30 October 2003  Report this post
Elspeth, may I recommned a website that I write for to you. It's called badmothersclub.com. I think you'll enjoy it.

Julie

chinamummy at 10:01 on 31 October 2003  Report this post
Loved it! Your piece is exactly why I shelved my 'real' job when my twins came along and took a chance on writing 'full time' i.e. when they're asleep (that and the fact that running a business wasn't actually much fun so having kids was a great excuse for a lengthy skive!) Will check out your badmothersclub.com - that rings a bell, did you promote it on This Morning during the summer? C.

Jubbly at 15:08 on 31 October 2003  Report this post
Thanks Chinamummy, I know what you mean, sometimes I actually write between their courses, ice lollies are good, they take ages to eat. Twins blimey, you must join the BMC. Yes it was promoted on This Morning, but that wasn't me that was the lovely editor and brains behind the business, Stephanie Calman.

willycan at 14:51 on 02 November 2003  Report this post
Very funny I enjoyed this and not I supect without a grain of truth.

cheers willy

old friend at 09:25 on 04 November 2003  Report this post
Hi Jubbly,

Nice one... a very nice one. I suspect that this is the opposite of what your life is really all about. I never ceased to be amazed how much a truly busy woman can and does 'do'. Thanks.

Regards, Len

Elsie at 21:24 on 30 November 2003  Report this post
Great, made me chuckle. I shall check out the website. Love to know this goes with radio 4.

Elsie


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