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Luna`s Song

by tusker 

Posted: 11 November 2008
Word Count: 180
Summary: For flash 2 challenge: Changed empathy to apathy as pointed out, wrong word.


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They'd heard it many times through the ages, Luna's Song. She sang while a mere crescent, her silvery light repairing souls, their inner selves.

But through later centuries, she struggled for her voice to be heard as apathy towards the old ways grew and her song weakened and her people, in turn, became deaf to her melodies.

Great Goddess All, impatient at their folly and hurt by her sister's plight, withdrew her protection that reflected dangerous rays from the sun. The sun turned bronze in an opaque sky and as it grew in size, so intense was the heat that the planet began to crumble into dry dust.

Within caverns set deep inside coastal cliffs and high mountains, a few hardy people remained living off cockroaches, bats and rats and, in their hunger, thirst and despair, remembered too late Luna and her song.

And as the last survivors prayed, promising Luna that once again, they'd heed her song, a silver lining, filled with dark, grey cloud, covered entrances to those caverns sealing inside every man, woman and child for ever.






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Comments by other Members



V`yonne at 15:47 on 11 November 2008  Report this post
Very atmospheric fantasy Jennifer.

The sun turned bronze in an opaque sky and as it grew in size, so intense was the heat that the planet began to crumble into dry dust.

tusker at 15:56 on 11 November 2008  Report this post
Thanks, Oonah. Maybe the smells around my house, at the moment, prompted this.

Jennifer

Nella at 20:08 on 11 November 2008  Report this post
Lovely take on the challenge, Jennifer. Just two nits:

covered entrances to those caverns
Maybe Covered the entrances would read better?

And "empathy"? It seemed to me to maybe be the wrong word, as I understand it to be the opposite of what I think you mean. But maybe I'm just misunderstanding...

Best,
Robin

tusker at 07:54 on 12 November 2008  Report this post
You're right, Robin. I think I've got emulsion fever.

Jennifer

Bunbry at 20:05 on 12 November 2008  Report this post
Did you mean enmity Jennifer? By the way, a great take on the challenge!

Nick

tusker at 06:25 on 13 November 2008  Report this post
Hi Nick,
I did mean empathy. Checked it out just now.

Thanks.

Jennifer

tusker at 06:29 on 13 November 2008  Report this post
Hi Nick again,

What I meant to say in my last message was that you're right, it should be'emnity.' Thanks again. A strong coffee is needed now.

Jennifer

tiger_bright at 11:15 on 13 November 2008  Report this post
Hi Jennifer, I liked the mythical feel to this, you really conveyed the sense of the cloud AND its silver lining. Thank you for a lyrical read.

Tiger

tusker at 14:16 on 13 November 2008  Report this post
Thanks Tiger. Glad I got it right this time.

jennifer

Forbes at 23:59 on 13 November 2008  Report this post
Now Jennifer - how many fingers am I holding up?

wrong - you can't see any through a screen, silly!!

Emulsion will do that to you!

Lovely take on the prompt.

Cheers

Avis

tusker at 07:11 on 14 November 2008  Report this post
Thanks Avis.

You're holding up 3 fingers. See I can see through the screen.

Jennifer

tusker at 07:44 on 14 November 2008  Report this post
I've changed the word empathy to apathy thanks to Nick's pointer.

Jennifer

Prospero at 15:59 on 23 November 2008  Report this post
Excellent, Jennifer, powerful and effective.

I particularly liked the ending with the caves being sealed.

Best

Prosp

tusker at 18:52 on 23 November 2008  Report this post
Thanks John. I was in a killer mood when I wrote that.

Jennifer


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