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birthday greetings

by oskar 

Posted: 26 October 2008
Word Count: 61


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Birthday Greeting


The darkness gives way for light, joins
Up quickly behind me, I drive home,
When morning breaks I’ll be seventy.

I think of a black, shiny coffin; silver
Handles and flowers too, my grief is
Immense nothing much to celebrate

I sail close to shore carful now under-
Water reefs, seek shelter from old age
While contemplating my sunset.






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Comments by other Members



joanie at 16:47 on 01 November 2008  Report this post
Hi oskar. I have checked your profile and my suspicions were confirmed - that this is very heartfelt and true! I love the sentiments expressed; they are real yet matter-of-fact. I'm sorry, but I do think the capitals at the start of the lines make the reader stumble, rather than the whole being a smooth continuing piece of work.

Thought-provoking.

joanie


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