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Relationship

by hailfabio 

Posted: 24 October 2008
Word Count: 31
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I love your eyes.

In the misty Monday morning,
you’re there for me,
not a threat,
we bounce off each other,
until we gush together,
hopes fulfilled.

You love my eyes.






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Comments by other Members



ellynelly at 22:29 on 24 October 2008  Report this post
Dear Stephen,

I love this poem. It's a delight and full of sweetness.

I like the circularity of the first and last lines and the seeming surprise of the narrator that it's so mutually good.

I think it's really neat how the poem literally seems to revolve around the "not a threat" discovery.

Elly
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

James Graham at 20:18 on 27 October 2008  Report this post
'Not a threat' - as Elly noticed, it's the 'hub' of the poem. I agree about the cyclic effect of the first and last lines. A very neat, concise lyrical poem.

This discovery that another person is in no way a threat is a true experience, which John Donne seems to have recorded too, four centuries ago:

And now good morrow to our waking souls,
Which watch not one another out of fear...


Same (timeless) idea?

James.
Read the WriteWords interview with James Graham
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