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Forbidden

by tusker 

Posted: 02 October 2008
Word Count: 377
Summary: For Nick's challenge:Hidden


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Henry had been warned to stay away from the gazebo. 'The floor is rotten,' Aunt Jessica always claimed. Yesterday, she reiterated her warning over a light supper on Christmas night.

Christmas had been spent at Craythorne Manor as both of Henry's parents had drowned in a mysterious boating accident on Craythorne Lake, six years before. Then, last October, Justin, his older brother, had simply disappeared after leaving their aunt on the night of All Hallows Eve.

Thirty years ago, Henry's aunt inherited the manor after her husband suddenly died, five months into their marriage. Now both manor and gazebo, hidden away behind a row of Yew trees, were crumbling. Much renovation needed to be done.

At dawn on Boxing Day, Henry looked out from his bedroom window, across sweeping lawns when a movement caught his eye. Squinting against sunrise, he saw a figure standing close to the row of Yews. It raised an arm as if beckoning to him.

Leaving the guest bedroom, he hurried along the corridor, down the wide curving staircase and across the black and white marbled floor to an oak front door. Once outside, he strode across long grass, heading towards the row of Yews, their tops dipping despite the stillness of the morning.

Minutes later, Henry arrived at a balustrade, a sign on its padlocked gate read,'Danger. Keep Out.' Ignoring the warning, he clambered over and approached the gazebo but, on trying its metal door, found it to be locked.

Looking above him, he noticed a keystone. Reaching up, struggling to lift the heavy object, he felt around with the other hand and, at last, found his means of entry.

Unlocking the door, he pushed it open and stepped inside. There he stood for a moment while his eyes grew accustomed to the gloom.

Then he saw in amazement, a large stone table and five stone chairs. On four of those chairs, four motionless figures sat. 'Good morning,' Henry croaked.

The four figures rose and as they approached, tattered clothing disintergrated. Skin and flesh fell like dust to the ground.

Horrified, Henry ran to the door but found it locked and bolted. Screaming, he battled to wrench it open but was soon engulfed by eight skeletal arms and four licking, festering tongues.






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Comments by other Members



Bunbry at 09:52 on 03 October 2008  Report this post
A cracking ghost story to hearald in the autumn, just what the doctor ordered.

Two quick points. I would have liked to know how old Henry was, as I wasn't sure if he was a boy or a man.

And not sure why ghosts would lick. Make them bite him, I say!

Well done.

Nick

V`yonne at 11:11 on 03 October 2008  Report this post
Now if I were you I'd put the four creatures rose to describe the figures and put it into MH Halloween competition. I don't see why ghosts can't lick if they can bite...

Elbowsnitch at 12:40 on 03 October 2008  Report this post
A wonderfully atmospheric story for the run-up to Hallowe'en! With a suitably horrid ending. Love all the details of Craythorne Manor!

Frances

tusker at 14:55 on 03 October 2008  Report this post
Thanks Nick. See your points. THey will bite. Henry, is around 30ish. Suppose I should put his age in somewhere.

Jennifer

tusker at 14:56 on 03 October 2008  Report this post
Thanks Oonah for your advice. Maybe, I'll give MH comp a try. Expect there'll be loads of entries but it might be worth it.

Jennifer

tusker at 14:57 on 03 October 2008  Report this post
Glad you liked it, Frances. I wanted to create a Gothic atmosphere.

Jennifer

V`yonne at 15:12 on 03 October 2008  Report this post
There'll be lads, yes but the more the merrier. Nathan's really nice for a vampire, werewolf ghoul and as master of his micro universe, he chooses the winners - so it's worth a go.

Diane Becker at 15:29 on 03 October 2008  Report this post
Enjoyed the story, particularly liked the details of the manor,
down the wide curving staircase and across the black and white marbled floor to an oak front door. Once outside, he strode across long grass, heading towards the row of Yews, their tops dipping despite the stillness of the morning.
and thought the
licking festering tongues
were more ghoulish than the thought of being bitten!

Nella at 19:26 on 03 October 2008  Report this post
Creepy, Jennifer! Well done,
Robin

tusker at 19:31 on 03 October 2008  Report this post
Thanks Diane and Nella. Glad you both enjoyed the read.

Jennifer

Forbes at 13:04 on 04 October 2008  Report this post
Oooh - Jennifer - yeuk!! Very atmospheric.

I wanted to know Harry's age too.

Good one.

Cheers

Avis

tusker at 15:51 on 04 October 2008  Report this post
Thanks Avis. Will sort his age out. But I've 2 points of view, should it be, 'festering tongues' or' snapping, biting jaws?

Answers please on a post card.

Jennifer.

Forbes at 16:31 on 04 October 2008  Report this post
I think both are gross - and as Oonah says, if the un-dead can bite, why not lick? Yes I KNOW about soft bits rotting before hard bits, but this is not your every day story about simple folk is it?!!! So I plump for the tongues.

Cheers

Avis

<Added>

... I mean, it wouldn't be MORE real id you used teeth, now would it?!!

tusker at 17:21 on 08 October 2008  Report this post
Thanks Avis. Trying to visualise the scene, I too think that festering tongues are more disgusting.

Jennifer


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