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Xanthe, aged 18 months

by joanie 

Posted: 26 September 2008
Word Count: 81
Summary: Family things!!


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Independence needs
to make His mark,
to take over
unsuspecting lives,
young and unsullied.

With quiet yet
determined force
he claims His victim.

Sleep once reigned supreme;
a full nine hours
without a break
until Hunger stepped in.
Independence holds the trump card.

Now two hours are fine
because older
beings are still awake
enjoying each other's company.
Independence knows

just how to make His presence
felt. All He needs is
the parents' stress,
a toddler's mind
to feed His desire.









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Comments by other Members



James Graham at 18:48 on 29 September 2008  Report this post
Hi Joanie - This seems like something new in your writing, striking a different note. I can't define it exactly, but it's something to do with the great (pagan?) god Independence, and the lesser gods Sleep and Hunger. It's an original take on childhood. I read it with half-recognition and half-surprise: recognition that, like all parents and ex-parents, I know about the effects of the little one's looming independence, but surprise that it could be expressed in this novel and interesting way.

I can imagine a sequel about the age range 13-17 or so, when Independence becomes a very capricious god, difficult to appease.

You hit on a clever idea for this poem.

James.

joanie at 22:09 on 29 September 2008  Report this post
Hello James. Thank you for taking the time! This was written as a gut reaction to a phone call. (Thank goodness for poetry to express feelings!)

I think this might be an idea worth developing when I have removed myself from the situation! Yes, a teenage one would be very appropriate!

Thanks again

joanie

V`yonne at 23:10 on 29 September 2008  Report this post
Like it Joanie.

joanie at 23:33 on 30 September 2008  Report this post
Thanks, Oonah!

joanie

Tina at 07:57 on 02 October 2008  Report this post
Hello Joanie

Seems like a long time since ...

Anyway - like James - I feel a different tone too in this poem and its not just the subject matter - it is the whole poem and the way you are writing it.

A clever take on observations of infancy - I wonder why you made Independence a HIM???

Really enjoyed this thanks
Tina

FelixBenson at 10:28 on 03 October 2008  Report this post
Hi Joanie,

This is great, the conceptof the poem and the style really brings the subject matter alive. And somehow it seems the most appropriate image of Independence should be a toddler with their presence like a mini god, chest puffed out, with endless confidence, never dented or dented but immediately forgotten!

Great piece of work!
Kirsty

joanie at 13:20 on 03 October 2008  Report this post
Thank you Kirsty!

ellynelly at 23:11 on 03 October 2008  Report this post
Hi Joannie,

I'm enjoying your poem. I think the way you use personification in your poem works really well.

Thanks.

Elly

DJC at 17:44 on 04 October 2008  Report this post
Hi Joanie! Nice to be seeing your work again. How well I know this, as Aline, my littlun, is the same age. I love the way in which you use the biblical capitalised pronoun - they are such little egos, aren't they? We call ours Queen Aline. Great fun, but well I know the sudden decision to wake at some ridiculous hour and be raring to go.
Excellent!

joanie at 18:02 on 04 October 2008  Report this post
Thanks Elly!

joanie at 18:09 on 04 October 2008  Report this post
Darren, hello!! It's been a long time - great to see you! Thanks for reading and commenting. I don't see my granddaughter very often (Irish Sea!) but she certainly is a determined little being! Are you posting something soon?

joanie


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