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Xanthe, aged 18 months
Posted: 26 September 2008 Word Count: 81 Summary: Family things!!
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Independence needs to make His mark, to take over unsuspecting lives, young and unsullied.
With quiet yet determined force he claims His victim.
Sleep once reigned supreme; a full nine hours without a break until Hunger stepped in. Independence holds the trump card.
Now two hours are fine because older beings are still awake enjoying each other's company. Independence knows
just how to make His presence felt. All He needs is the parents' stress, a toddler's mind to feed His desire.
Comments by other Members
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James Graham at 18:48 on 29 September 2008
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Hi Joanie - This seems like something new in your writing, striking a different note. I can't define it exactly, but it's something to do with the great (pagan?) god Independence, and the lesser gods Sleep and Hunger. It's an original take on childhood. I read it with half-recognition and half-surprise: recognition that, like all parents and ex-parents, I know about the effects of the little one's looming independence, but surprise that it could be expressed in this novel and interesting way.
I can imagine a sequel about the age range 13-17 or so, when Independence becomes a very capricious god, difficult to appease.
You hit on a clever idea for this poem.
James.
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joanie at 22:09 on 29 September 2008
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Hello James. Thank you for taking the time! This was written as a gut reaction to a phone call. (Thank goodness for poetry to express feelings!)
I think this might be an idea worth developing when I have removed myself from the situation! Yes, a teenage one would be very appropriate!
Thanks again
joanie
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Tina at 07:57 on 02 October 2008
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Hello Joanie
Seems like a long time since ...
Anyway - like James - I feel a different tone too in this poem and its not just the subject matter - it is the whole poem and the way you are writing it.
A clever take on observations of infancy - I wonder why you made Independence a HIM???
Really enjoyed this thanks
Tina
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FelixBenson at 10:28 on 03 October 2008
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Hi Joanie,
This is great, the conceptof the poem and the style really brings the subject matter alive. And somehow it seems the most appropriate image of Independence should be a toddler with their presence like a mini god, chest puffed out, with endless confidence, never dented or dented but immediately forgotten!
Great piece of work!
Kirsty
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ellynelly at 23:11 on 03 October 2008
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Hi Joannie,
I'm enjoying your poem. I think the way you use personification in your poem works really well.
Thanks.
Elly
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DJC at 17:44 on 04 October 2008
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Hi Joanie! Nice to be seeing your work again. How well I know this, as Aline, my littlun, is the same age. I love the way in which you use the biblical capitalised pronoun - they are such little egos, aren't they? We call ours Queen Aline. Great fun, but well I know the sudden decision to wake at some ridiculous hour and be raring to go.
Excellent!
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joanie at 18:09 on 04 October 2008
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Darren, hello!! It's been a long time - great to see you! Thanks for reading and commenting. I don't see my granddaughter very often (Irish Sea!) but she certainly is a determined little being! Are you posting something soon?
joanie
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