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Edge Of Reason

by tusker 

Posted: 24 September 2008
Word Count: 563
Summary: Flash 2 challenge


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All through her first years in school, revenge invaded Ellie's thoughts and, on that last day of term, her final day at Trewithin Primary School, she carried out her plan which had taken much planning.

From Infant Class, Alice and Sophie had laughed, punched, pinched and called her names but Ellie's stutter and her delicate frame had stopped any form of retaliation.

Throughout those years, Ellie swore that one day, her tormentors should pay the consequences for her misery. Now the day had come. Their fate would be sealed when the last bell rang to herald the start of the summer holidays.

After classes ended Ellie, as usual, endured punches, pinches and name calling but, as they left the school yard, she said to the two bullies, 'I've found a large silver box hidden away but it's too heavy for me to carry.'

'Abbbox,' Alice mimicked her stutter.

'Asssilver box,' Sophie joined in with malciious glee.

Ellie nodded, stuttering on, 'It's hidden behind a large rock.'

Silence fell but Ellie could read on their greedy expressions that they'd remembered a recent and successful robbery at Trewithin Manor and were, no doubt, wondering if Ellie had found the burglars booty.

Then their expressions flickered from greed to derision and Alice said, 'Prove it Pig Face.'

Shrugging, Ellie turned, aware that the girls trailed behind and picking up a brisk pace, she walked out through the school gates onto the main road.

Turning sharp right, she ran down Potter's Lane until, ten minutes later, she reached the soft, grassy mounds that lead to Trewithin Cliffs.

Without waiting but listening to her tormentors huffing and puffing behind, Ellie clambered down a worn path leading to the abandoned, derelict buildings of Trewithin Tin Mine.

Close by, set in the cliff face, an oak door concealed a large cave once used for storage and when Alice, gasping for breath, reached Ellie's side, she jeered, 'Bloody Aladdin's Cave is it?'

'And it's locked,' Dishevelled, Sophie said in disgust.

But Ellie, over many weeks, had chipped and chiselled away at the rusty lock and had replaced it with a new one. Now, taking out a key from her blazer pocket, Ellie unlocked the door; an oak door that had withstood countless storms over many decades.

Pushing it open, they all heard a protesting creak like an old man's bones and, as it swung back against the cliff face, a rush of fetid air flooded out and Ellie fancied she could hear the laughter of escaping demons.

Taking a torch from her satchel, Ellie gave it to Sophie and both friends entered shoulder to shoulder. Bright light of the torch danced onto dripping crags which Ellie compared to all the tears she'd shed through primary school.

Mid-way in, Sophie faltered. 'Where's the box?' she asked, looking back at Ellie.

Ellie pointed to a boulder, shaped like a crouching gnome, about ten feet further into the cave. Eagerly, both girls made for the boulder and, as they did so, Ellie slammed the heavy door shut, fastening the padlock, imprisoning the bullies.

Avenged, Ellie looked out to sea, listening to her tormentors cries and their fists hammering on solid wood and,as she listened, she imagined those fists wearing down to bone and with that satisfying image, she made her way back up the rough path, the sound of frantic hammering diminishing behind her.






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Comments by other Members



Joanna C at 18:12 on 24 September 2008  Report this post
What a fabulous (and hugely satisfying) story. I love the boulder shaped like a gnome! I hated Sophie and Alice the minute they spoke. I also think I may have been at school with them ...

Jo
x

tusker at 18:25 on 24 September 2008  Report this post
Thanks Jo.

I hate bullies and they need a lesson, though perhaps Ellie's act of revenge went a bit too far. Still, I felt she was justified.

Jennifer

V`yonne at 19:41 on 24 September 2008  Report this post
Wonderful details like
door that had withstood countless storms

Ellie fancied she could hear the laughter of escaping demons.
and
dripping crags which Ellie compared to all the tears she'd shed through primary school.

lead up to Ellie burying her demons for good and we're with the kid asll the way! Great flash, Jennifer



<Added>

give EDF another go

tusker at 07:12 on 25 September 2008  Report this post
Thanks Oonah. Revenge, sometimes, can be sweet.

Jennifer

Bunbry at 22:30 on 25 September 2008  Report this post
Aren't revenge stories fun! I really enjoyed this from start to finish.

One possible nit
'And it's locked,' Dishevelled, Sophie said in disgust.
Should it be "a dishevelled"?

Nick

tusker at 07:17 on 26 September 2008  Report this post
Thanks Nick, you're right. Thanks for that too.
I do seem to write a lot of vengeful stories. Why I wonder?
Jennifer


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