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Boy Greaser

by tusker 

Posted: 12 August 2008
Word Count: 367
Summary: Underground challenge. Fiction based on the Morfa Incident.


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Underground, deep down where black glittered in meagre lamp light, Rees, a young lad of sixteen, spent many hours greasing axles.

This autumn day at 12.15, like every day around the same time, Rees sat cross-legged, eating his bread and dripping blackened by dust encrusted hands and, as he ate, he imagined above him, his widowed mother mangling Mrs. Llewellyn Jones's laundry while his three younger sisters played in warm sunlight on Margam Mountain.

Sometimes, Rees wished he didn't have to crawl on scabbed knees to satisfy the insatiable demands of the owner, his boss and the copper industry.

But every Sunday, after chapel, he'd walk down to the docks and spend hours watching boats and the men that sailed in them and, as he watched, he longed for the freedom those hulks and their crew enjoyed.

Once, a captain asked if he'd like to join the crew and sail to South America. Rees's almost accepted his offer but realised before he opened his mouth, that with him gone, his mother would struggle to keep a roof over his siblings heads and food in their bellies.

Apart from the camaraderie below surface, there was nothing to look forward to and, each time he set off from his cramped home in Taibach to work in Morfa Colliery, his steps were heavy.

Now, pushing all self-pitying thoughts aside, Rees went back to work until a frightening roar followed by a blast of hot, foul sulphuric air threw him against a tram, cracking his ribs.

Stunned, enveloped in complete darkness, men's terrified screams of fear and pain reached him and, despite his own agony, scrambling on his knees, breathing in dust, he crawled towards the clamour but was met with an impenetrable barrier.

Whimpering, Rees retreated backwards, expecting the weight of the mountain to collapse on top of him at any moment. Ahead, he saw a glimmer of light. Crawling faster on bloodied knees, he reached that tiny halo of hope.

'Hold on, lad,' a voice answered Rees's desperate cries.

And, for what seemed eternity, he heard shovels clanging, hands scrabbling and men cursing until, at last, Rees crawled through a widened gap into the strong arms of his rescuer.






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Comments by other Members



V`yonne at 17:41 on 12 August 2008  Report this post
Very good flash, Jennifer. Full of atmosphere. It must have been hard indeed mining copper ore to bottom boats that you could never sail away on... Swansea used to be the copper capital of the world. The price for the world copper market was set in Wind Street! Hard to believe now - it's full of pubs.

Prospero at 18:02 on 12 August 2008  Report this post
A powerful and telling story of life in the mines. Furthermore, a well crafted and rounded piece of creative writing.

Well done, Jennifer.

Best

Prosp

Bunbry at 18:20 on 12 August 2008  Report this post
Sad stuff Jennifer. Makes me stop and think just how lucky we are today. Anything that can do that is hitting the right spot!

Cheers

Nick

tusker at 18:39 on 12 August 2008  Report this post
Thanks Oonah, Wine Street, yes, a place of pubs. They're trying hard to hide the scars of industry in Swansea but I don't think they succeed.

Port Talbot is full of history too as you well know. A lot of Irish landed there. My maternal lot came and Grandpa was a merchant seaman then worked as a welder on the JIB in Taibach at the steel works. God, I could carry on.

Jennifer

tusker at 18:40 on 12 August 2008  Report this post
Thanks John, do I bow or curtsy? You've made me blush.

Jennifer

tusker at 18:44 on 12 August 2008  Report this post
Thanks Nick.
Yes, life was hard, even in my grandparents day. I've heard their stories and now, as I'm old enough to apprieciate how hard, I realise that their stories must not die. But, they were survivors.

Jennifer

LMJT at 10:36 on 13 August 2008  Report this post
Hi Jennifer,

I thought this was a very vivid piece of writing in which you've built up a strong sense of character in such few words.

I particularly liked:

This autumn day at 12.15, like every day around the same time, Rees sat cross-legged, eating his bread and dripping blackened by dust encrusted hands and, as he ate, he imagined above him, his widowed mother mangling Mrs. Llewellyn Jones's laundry while his three younger sisters played in warm sunlight on Margam Mountain.


Whimpering, Rees retreated backwards, expecting the weight of the mountain to collapse on top of him at any moment. Ahead, he saw a glimmer of light. Crawling faster on bloodied knees, he reached that tiny halo of hope.


Oh, and I noticed
Rees's almost accepted

Is there an unneccessary apostrophe here?

Thanks for the read.

Liam

tusker at 11:05 on 13 August 2008  Report this post
Thanks Liam. Glad you liked it. Thanks too for pointing out the typo.

Jennifer

optimist at 22:19 on 13 August 2008  Report this post
Hi Jennifer

This was so sad and so real.

I couldn't write this because I couldn't begin to imagine what it would be like but you take us there.

Such a big story in a little space.

Sarah

tusker at 07:01 on 14 August 2008  Report this post
Thanks Sarah.

Jennifer

tiger_bright at 13:12 on 14 August 2008  Report this post
Hi Jennifer, this was excellent. Claustrophobic and paced just right - I loved that ending, was crawling up with Rees towards the light.

Tiger

Jumbo at 23:23 on 14 August 2008  Report this post
Jennifer

Powerful stuff. Frighteningly real. You manage to catch the claustrophobic atmosphere of the mine so accurately. Loved the sounds and the smells - they really put the reader into that place.

A great read. Thanks for sharing it.

Cheers

john

crowspark at 22:20 on 16 August 2008  Report this post
Smashing flash, Jennifer. I could really feel for Rees, particularly when he considers the freedom of a life at sea but cannot leave his mother and family.
Full of great details.

Bill


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