Hello James

Well, to me aquilegas could rank as one of the 'fairest flowers in all the field' - even if they are only mass market! I often look at dying flowers in such places and think I should write an elegy for them but.... the words .... well you know what I mean.

I like your line

and tucked them in.

I like too the opening verses and the all too familiar setting in this hypermarket environment - but I wonder about line three which does not quite 'scan' for me - in verse one/two you have a lot of ands leading us through the litany of all these awful dens to consumerism and this really works well but line three just doesn't work for me because the flow of the writing seems interrupted??? - so I am wondering .....

and gawking aesthetes
by the Black & Deckers,[i/]

would

and gawking
Black and Decker aesthetes

be better???

Sorry to tinker with your work?? Hope you don't mind.

Thanks Tina. No sooner said than done. This poem needs to flow, because basically it's an anecdote and needs to run smoothly through to the end. It's a lightweight thing, this poem - but even so, it shouldn't stumble.

James.

James

A nice poem o 'tuck into' the mind. Thanks.

The quote?

There's rather a beautiful song by Nanci Griffith called Gulf Coast Highway about the Texas 'Blue Bonnet' flowers. Probably avaiable to listen to on the net if you wanbted to.

regards


Keith

Hi James
What a thoughtful poem, which made me smile and re-read it - I smiled at the image which

made off with them

conjures. The rescue dash from the souless, Sunday B&Q on finding these little gems.

And I especially like the central lines, which succinctly convey that simple joy of seeing the first flower on a dreary day:

Though April’s cold and overcast one Granny’s Bonnet nods today.

I wish I could give you some more useful feedback - as you have given me, but I can't anything to change in this poem. Its a little gem too.

Cheers, Kirsty

<Added>

It's a little gem, even!

Oh they do indeed and I loved the solitary line too and the words of Wordsworth ring as true as ever they did.