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Hidden Memories
Posted: 23 July 2008 Word Count: 75 Summary: The sea can be haunting, reflecting the trials of the mind.
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It cannot be true, That I have walked these lands but once. I have glanced at this sky before, I have walked upon this rocky shore. The salty scent of the sea breeze And the mocking of the gull’s pleas, Haunting me with memories long hidden. It is true, I have walked these lands before, I have trampled along these rocky shores, And asked myself once more, "Who am I, and what did I do?"
Comments by other Members
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NMott at 16:06 on 23 July 2008
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Hi, Grace, and welcome to WriteWords.
I have no expertise in poetry, other than reading it for pleasure, so I can't offer a critique, but I thought I'd say this caught my eye, and I liked it enough to read it through a few times purely for the pleasure of it.
The only suggestion I can make is I read 'trampled' as 'tramped' the first couple of times. 'Trampled' puts me in mind of a rampaging elephant trampling the hunter underfoot, whereas 'tramped' makes me thing of a purposeful walk through the countryside.
- NaomiM
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Katerina at 17:42 on 05 August 2008
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Hi Grace,
I don't know much about poetry either, but the images this conjured up were lovely - thoughts of maybe having been there in a previous life, some long lost memories stirring within, wondering who s)he might have been - wonderful
Kat x
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Beanie Baby at 22:19 on 05 August 2008
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Hi Grace and welcome aboard. I have just got back from a week away so am still trying to catch up. I love this poem. It is quite haunting and touches a raw nerve with a pleasant mysticism. It is also very deep and thought provoking and I love the repetitive 'eee' sound with 'breeze' 'please' and 'memories'.
Beanie
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