 Elbowsnitch at 17:15 on 14 July 2008
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Hi Nick - re. posting work to a particular group, if you go to edit mode on this piece, I think you should be offered the option ' Which Group?' Click Flash Fiction and your file title should then be listed in Flash 1, all ready for the challenge. Any crits on your stories by group members will then also show up in the group comments listings.
These are great flashes, by the way.
Frances
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 Bunbry at 17:53 on 14 July 2008
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Thanks for the tip about the ' Which Group' thing Frances [and for your kind comments].
Nick
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 V`yonne at 18:22 on 14 July 2008
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Loved Vagrrant - so poignant, | face laced with thread veins, |
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great detail - well done.
And the second, beautifully skeptical and probably true!
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Forbes at 02:20 on 15 July 2008
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Hi Nick
enjoyed them both. Especially that last one - so sly.
Well done
Avis
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Bunbry at 09:24 on 15 July 2008
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Thanks for those kind comments V' yonne. They were both based on true life [to a small degree].
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tusker at 14:57 on 15 July 2008
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Enjoyed both flashes. Haven' t a favourite as both are so different. Can smell the vagrant. The fortune teller' s greed and deception well described.
Jennifer.
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Jumbo at 18:11 on 15 July 2008
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Nick
Liked both of these. But the first has it by a small head! So much potential, so much back-story wrapped up in those few words.
Nice writing. Welcome aboard.
Regards
john
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tiger_bright at 13:49 on 17 July 2008
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Hi Bunbry (great handle!) - terrific debut flashes, these. I loved the last line of Tarot in particular. How is Manchester? I grew up near there. Looking forward to more of your flashes in future.
Tiger
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Bunbry at 16:46 on 17 July 2008
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Cheers Tiger. Judging from recent reports, Manchester is becoming very dangerous! But I am proud of the city and still happy here.
Nick
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tiger_bright at 18:17 on 17 July 2008
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Aw, Nick, they were saying that when I was going there, and that' s going back about 25 years! Is Aztec Palace still going strong?
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 Prospero at 20:20 on 17 July 2008
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Well done, Nick.
You got me! Straight through the heart. Two perfect shots.
Brilliant.
Prosp
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Bunbry at 22:23 on 17 July 2008
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Thanks for the positive feedback Prosp, send me to bed smiling!
Not sure about Aztec Palace I' m afraid Tiger. At my age I don' t get out so much!
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 crowspark at 23:41 on 18 July 2008
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Two sharp flashes, Nick. Loved Vagrant. Maybe consider "20p between blackened fingers"?
Tarot was perhaps even stronger. Good dialogue and punchy twist.
Thanks for the read.
Bill
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Elbowsnitch at 05:44 on 19 July 2008
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Nick, the second one is particularly fine, in my opinion - although you could almost leave out that last sentence and just end on ';Jennifer smiles';.
Frances
<Added>
Sorry, Elizabeth! Jennifer?
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Bunbry at 11:12 on 19 July 2008
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Cheers Bill, glad you like them. And yes you are right about ';between';!
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Bunbry at 11:16 on 19 July 2008
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Hi, Frances, thanks for your kind words. Intresting point obout leaving out the last few words, but that would take courage as I';d worry the reader didn';t ';Get it';. Perhaps I should trust the reader more!
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titania177 at 19:21 on 19 July 2008
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Great flashes, Nick, twists in both tails. I loved the description in the first flash, might there be more? (I know that asking that is considered by some in the flashing world a cardinal sin!)
Tania
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Bunbry at 10:28 on 20 July 2008
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Thanks for the positive comments Tania. This was not part of anything else. But who knows about the future?!
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