Wild side - Flash Poetry Challenge 12
Posted: 28 June 2008 Word Count: 287 Summary: A VERY strange journey! I am posting EVERYTHING - and I'm not finished yet!
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That's it now! No more Another hand would change the general world, while borders bang and starkness shines. Another hand would try to lose the wild, while diabetic dogs roam free. Another hand would listen to the streets. Deaf ears fail to listen.
The latest version
So The wild going with another hand the general world, the border, more bang. Listen, let me lose the wild. So day and night this open way the starker shine. The wild was always neither going in the streets nor in another hand. The dog with insulin has my hand.
Version 2 So My hand in the general world, the wild insulin, neither this nor that but more bang to listen to the dog. Let me lose the wild going. Another hand streets. So day and night in this way we go on. Shine stark.
Version 1 SO A dog with insulin had my hand in the general world. The wild neither this nor that said border more was bang to sure also version. Listen dog so it is, let me lose in the give was I left. More what he wild was always that it neither going with another hand him streets. So. Day and night in this open way we go on starker shine.
Original poem ZO Een hond met ijzeren ogen had mijn hand in zijn mond genomen. Ik wilde niet dat dit gebeurde maar was bang te scheuren als ik mij verzette. Luister hond, zei ik, laat me los en ik geef je wat je verlangt. Maar wat hij wilde was alleen dat ik niet verder ging en met mijn andere hand hem streelde. Zo. Dagen en nachten in zijn ogen zag wie van ons sterker scheen.
Comments by other Members
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Inspiration at 21:58 on 28 June 2008
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This was fun to do, I can tell, and I found it the same. It' s surreal and really makes me feel like I have searched a different depth to write this week' s challenge, and you look like you have done the same thing, and thoroughly enjoyed doing so.
Wonderfully, bizarre yet, fascinating to see the process and the obvious fun this challenge has brought you.
Thanks for sharing.
XXXInniXXX
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joanie at 22:19 on 28 June 2008
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After a few tries, I am stopping here! A very interesting challenge! Thanks, Elsie.
joanie
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V`yonne at 23:17 on 28 June 2008
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Interesting, Joanie. You are so right about this being a very strange thing to do but utterly fascinating and with some bizarre results - the dog with insulin eh?
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Elsie at 14:57 on 29 June 2008
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Hello Joanie, sorry for the delay, I' ve just spotted this. I like the banging borders. Clever. I found myself reading with a smile. (I' m sure someone I know has a diabetic dog.) Hmm, interesting.
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Nella at 14:41 on 30 June 2008
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This is wild, Joanie! In the end, you made some sense of it. Except for the dog with insulin which is really rather strange! (But it makes me laugh!) I wonder, how did you know that "hond" means dog? Do you know a few words of Dutch?
This is a very interesting phras:
while borders bang and starkness
shines. |
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I like the image of starkness shining.
Cheers,
Robin
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joanie at 16:52 on 30 June 2008
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Elsie and Nella, many thanks! It was was odd, wasn' t it, but I did make the effort! I just assumed ' hond was like hound!
Yes, I think the banging borders and shining starkness might appear again sometime!
joanie
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