So, it's Friday night and I am sat here with the sad tap-tapping of the dog pacing the hallway, desperate for a walk and rain streaking the window.

"Do you mind if I go out?" she says. Her eyes look at me with barely hidden boredom. She knows I won't say no. It's a sham.

"Of course not!" What else can be done?


So, it's Friday night and I am sat here with a cold one, (Well, you wouldn't want a warm beer would you...), and it gets worse. WestLife come on VH1. VH1? I remember when
it was MTV for me. Am I past it?

"Of course not!" What else can be done?


So, it's Friday night. The dog's still pacing. Rain still falling, beer still cold and WestLife has gone. My inner anger turns to the adverts. Apparently I can get a chicken ringtone, 5 blades plus precision trimmer and I can be a poker ace! Gosh. Didn't know I had it in me. Do I?

"Of course not!" What else can be done?


So it's Friday night. I'm giggling inside. The music is fantastic. Fuck the rain, it's helping my veg garden. Anyway, who cares if she stays out. I can starfish in the bed. Have I had
too much?

"Of course!" Nothing else to do.

Bed.