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I want...

by Ellenna 

Posted: 17 October 2003
Word Count: 219
Summary: For a dear friend...


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I want my heart to leap out and enfold you
unite with the power that is your's
the smile in our eyes and the spark in our soul
pouring love on our personal wars

I want thoughts of silver
to thread in a cobweb on a sun filled dewdrop morn
or a string of stars in the velvet night
to form pearls for the greying dawn



I want to dance in an ancient circle
invoking a paradigm
I want to create a spell to enhance
and capture the essence of unbroken time

I want to let go the chains of my ego
accept my small part in the Plan
I want to stride across sand at sunset
and know I have finally come home

I want to find my piece in the jigsaw
of which I'm an intrinsic part
with no more importance than that of my neighbours
I'd embrace this with all of my heart

I want to share all the good that I feel
with the love that I share with you
both of us drawing on all our resources
to create something whole out of two

I want to step out of my safety zone
and drink from freedoms font
but most of all in achieving these aims
I have to stop saying ... I want






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Comments by other Members



The Walrus at 14:36 on 17 October 2003  Report this post
Resonated very strongly with this poem Ellenna. The love and sense of awareness of what matters comes through crystal clear. The poem exudes giving and goodness.

Bravo!

The Walrus

Ellenna at 17:43 on 17 October 2003  Report this post
Walrus, thank you so much for your generosity:) Glad it struck a chord..

Ellie :)

JohnK at 09:43 on 18 October 2003  Report this post
Ellie,

A very meaningful and satisfying poem.
I particularly liked 'I want to step out of my safety zone' and of course that culminating line that sums up everything, 'I have to stop saying ... I want'.

If I'm allowed to suggest a change, what about

'I want to find my piece in the puzzle
of which I'm an intrinsic part'

becoming

'I want to find my place in the jigsaw
of which I'm an intrinsic part'

on the grounds that if you are one piece of the puzzle, its the place you search for, not the individual piece. Minor point.

All the very best,

JohnK.


Ellenna at 14:55 on 18 October 2003  Report this post
John, I admit I did a double take on this line when I wrote it..and I am glad you have verified that it's not quite logical..
I think your idea works.. and I am gonna pinch it.:) thanks for reading and commenting and enjoying it..

Ellie :)

bluesky3d at 09:14 on 21 October 2003  Report this post
'to find my piece in the puzzle' which became 'to find my place in the jigsaw' perhaps might still be 'to find my place in the puzzle'.. just a thought
A :o)

Ellenna at 14:45 on 21 October 2003  Report this post
Oh what a dilemma.. have been walking around saying both versions.. and I have to say ..Place, puzzle, ..i like the softness of it.. even though jigsaw makes sense.. OH dear!!!

I would appreciate hearing any one else's view on this.. meanwhile I am reciting a mantra here.. and thank you Andrew and John. :)



bluesky3d at 16:18 on 21 October 2003  Report this post
life is more like a puzzle than a specific jigsaw - but John is right about finding one's place, not one's piece
A :o)

<Added>

just as long as we know what the picture on the lid looks like!

Ellenna at 18:42 on 21 October 2003  Report this post
Yes .. that is important! :)

Fearless at 20:56 on 21 October 2003  Report this post
Ellie

It's beautiful. Thanks

F

olebut at 08:23 on 23 October 2003  Report this post
Ellie

I think your friend must be a very lucky person

take care

david


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