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I want...
Posted: 17 October 2003 Word Count: 219 Summary: For a dear friend...
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I want my heart to leap out and enfold you unite with the power that is your's the smile in our eyes and the spark in our soul pouring love on our personal wars
I want thoughts of silver to thread in a cobweb on a sun filled dewdrop morn or a string of stars in the velvet night to form pearls for the greying dawn
I want to dance in an ancient circle invoking a paradigm I want to create a spell to enhance and capture the essence of unbroken time
I want to let go the chains of my ego accept my small part in the Plan I want to stride across sand at sunset and know I have finally come home
I want to find my piece in the jigsaw of which I'm an intrinsic part with no more importance than that of my neighbours I'd embrace this with all of my heart
I want to share all the good that I feel with the love that I share with you both of us drawing on all our resources to create something whole out of two
I want to step out of my safety zone and drink from freedoms font but most of all in achieving these aims I have to stop saying ... I want
Comments by other Members
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The Walrus at 14:36 on 17 October 2003
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Resonated very strongly with this poem Ellenna. The love and sense of awareness of what matters comes through crystal clear. The poem exudes giving and goodness.
Bravo!
The Walrus
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Ellenna at 17:43 on 17 October 2003
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Walrus, thank you so much for your generosity:) Glad it struck a chord..
Ellie :)
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JohnK at 09:43 on 18 October 2003
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Ellie,
A very meaningful and satisfying poem.
I particularly liked 'I want to step out of my safety zone' and of course that culminating line that sums up everything, 'I have to stop saying ... I want'.
If I'm allowed to suggest a change, what about
'I want to find my piece in the puzzle
of which I'm an intrinsic part'
becoming
'I want to find my place in the jigsaw
of which I'm an intrinsic part'
on the grounds that if you are one piece of the puzzle, its the place you search for, not the individual piece. Minor point.
All the very best,
JohnK.
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Ellenna at 14:55 on 18 October 2003
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John, I admit I did a double take on this line when I wrote it..and I am glad you have verified that it's not quite logical..
I think your idea works.. and I am gonna pinch it.:) thanks for reading and commenting and enjoying it..
Ellie :)
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bluesky3d at 09:14 on 21 October 2003
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'to find my piece in the puzzle' which became 'to find my place in the jigsaw' perhaps might still be 'to find my place in the puzzle'.. just a thought
A :o)
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Ellenna at 14:45 on 21 October 2003
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Oh what a dilemma.. have been walking around saying both versions.. and I have to say ..Place, puzzle, ..i like the softness of it.. even though jigsaw makes sense.. OH dear!!!
I would appreciate hearing any one else's view on this.. meanwhile I am reciting a mantra here.. and thank you Andrew and John. :)
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bluesky3d at 16:18 on 21 October 2003
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life is more like a puzzle than a specific jigsaw - but John is right about finding one's place, not one's piece
A :o)
<Added>
just as long as we know what the picture on the lid looks like!
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olebut at 08:23 on 23 October 2003
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Ellie
I think your friend must be a very lucky person
take care
david
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