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Autumn Ritual

by tusker 

Posted: 23 April 2008
Word Count: 174
Summary: Flash 1 Challenge: flames. a dewberry ritual from childhood.


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They stare into a can of purple black juice. Bubbling, bubbling, slurping. Flames lick at damp sea wood, hissing salty omens. A sweet aroma, like home made jam, wafts dreams and hopes into their faces. Flames, yellow, red and green flicker out mysterious messages.

Two child witches watch those flames grow smaller as if withdrawing from their earnest expressions. The bubbling brew slowly diminishes, sealing in their precious wishes.

'Like blue blood,' the fair haired witch says.

A breeze whips up ash and sand onto bare legs. One rubs the blend into her skin and the other follows suit. Now both resemble children from strange places.

Tying dirty handkerchielfs around their hands, they lift up the small cauldron from the embers, placing it in a shallow rock pool where it sizzles.

'You first,' the red haired witch says, dipping a finger into the brew that is hardening like purple black toffee.

And the fair haired witch, leaning over, pokes a finger into the gel, daubing her friend's forehead with the mark of Ash Wednesday.






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Comments by other Members



V`yonne at 19:37 on 23 April 2008  Report this post
Great Hook
A sweet aroma, like home made jam, wafts
You got me with that

I could see this and almost feel the ash and smell the sweet brew. Lovely descriptive writing, Jennifer. Sned somewhere for Halloween?

Cholero at 22:02 on 23 April 2008  Report this post
Completely wonderful. Not a beat missed.

Flames lick at damp sea wood, hissing salty omens.
-so fine.

Two child witches watch those flames grow smaller as if withdrawing from their earnest expressions
-v super.

I might as well put quote marks round the whole thing. Absolutely superb writing, hope this gets into print!

Gob-macked.

Pete

Dreamer at 22:11 on 23 April 2008  Report this post
Really liked this. Don't have any picks.

Thanks for the read.

Brian.

Forbes at 09:56 on 24 April 2008  Report this post
Jennifer

lovely stuff.

CHeers

Avis

tusker at 14:25 on 24 April 2008  Report this post
Well thank you all for your lovely comments.

Jennifer



crowspark at 12:07 on 25 April 2008  Report this post
Terrific writing, Jennifer. Nice combination of a fire beside the sea. Loved the ritual and the great ending.

Thanks for the read.

Bill

tusker at 14:06 on 25 April 2008  Report this post
Thanks Bill. Living close to the sea and dunes conjured up many rituals as a child.

Jennifer

Prospero at 17:39 on 25 April 2008  Report this post
This is excellent, Jennifer, really drew me in. Reminds of a scene from a film version of Macbeth that I have.

Well done.

John

tusker at 19:44 on 25 April 2008  Report this post
Thanks John. Must admit, disliked Shakespeare apart from THE Merchant of Venice. Such a pleb.

Jennifer

tiger_bright at 10:42 on 26 April 2008  Report this post
Just brilliant, Jennifer. Not one nit. The imagery, the words - you nailed it.

Terrific.

Tiger

tusker at 11:18 on 26 April 2008  Report this post
Thanks Sarah.

tractor at 13:34 on 26 April 2008  Report this post
Jennifer,

hugely atmospheric - like being at the cinema, I swear I could smell the sea and hear the brew bubble.

Great writing.

Mark

tusker at 14:45 on 26 April 2008  Report this post
Thanks Mark.

Jumbo at 10:39 on 27 April 2008  Report this post
Great writing, Jenifer.

Two creepy characters and the piece packed full of wonderful images.

And the mark of Ash Wednesday? Are they acknowledging their past sins? I just hate to imagine what they might be.

Fine writing, thanks for sharing this.

John


tusker at 11:57 on 27 April 2008  Report this post
Thanks John. They're children playing.

Jennifer

Jumbo at 12:58 on 27 April 2008  Report this post
Ah!! I didn't get that bit!

john

Inspiration at 22:28 on 28 April 2008  Report this post
I really enjoyed this, and did see it was children playing, especially as I came to the end where the 'you first' and 'Ash Wednesday' seemed very childlike, and confirmed my suspicions.

I apologise for taking so long to comment on this, but I am so glad I was still able to. A great response to this challenge.

Well done!

XXInniXX


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