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The day

by tndr 

Posted: 24 March 2008
Word Count: 28
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The day
is all stars’ dream,
they’ve been awaken now, here.
The window slides a silver shade
Into your hair.
Silence.
I’m just sitting.
And looking at you.






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didau at 16:44 on 23 May 2010  Report this post
I love "The window slides a silver shade/Into your hair." - the alliteration and assonance help to conjure up something slightly sinister.

All stars' dream is a bit naff though and sounds like a bad baseball team - how about, "The day is only dreamt of by the stars" or something like that?

Cheers, David
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