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Black Mamba

by tusker 

Posted: 14 March 2008
Word Count: 252
Summary: Week 98 challenge


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My hand shakes at the thought of what I've done. Jed's a fine looking man. Upstanding within the community, serving, he claims, those without a voice. But in private, his generous mouth is black, as black as a Mamba's mouth, uttering lies, twisting truths into sly innuendos.

Once I believed in his promises. Once I believed in his love. But now I've come to realise that those promises and his love are stagnant like fetid water in a shallow pond.

In the past, I blamed myself for my own inadequacies. A man in his position, I reasoned, expects more from a wife and could be forgiven for the judgements he's made upon me.

But yesterday, I discovered his final betrayal in a letter sent from his latest mistress and our vows, the fluid words and endearments he once uttered, I now know are just a cruel sham.

And I guess this woman, like the others, fell for Jed's mesmerising allure. Women can be such fools, repeating the same mistakes others have made over and over again.

I remember how I fed off his words. Accepted his excuses. But on reading the letter, discovering that their child will be born in May, a child he's denied me, all my beliefs, forgiveness, hopes have crumbled into despair.

So now Jed lies at my feet, blood spreading from a gaping hole in his groin and I tell him, above his cries of agony, that the community he serves will soon learn about his cruel duplicity.






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Comments by other Members



Forbes at 16:00 on 14 March 2008  Report this post
Jennifer

Stunning! Wow!

One tiny pick...and as usual tell me to sod off, but I'd put the word "all" in between like & others

And I guess this woman, like all the others,


Stunning though, spiffing, sharp & brillinat.

Oh btw - I liked it!

TFR

Avis

tusker at 16:48 on 14 March 2008  Report this post
Thanks Avis. Started another one but this popped into my head early this morning.

Jennifer

V`yonne at 17:01 on 14 March 2008  Report this post
You're hubby reads that, Jennifer he'll be in a different room like a shot and with a bolt on the door! He'll be hoping you have a firm grasp on reality.
stagnant like fetid water in a shallow pond.
Fav line.
Oonah

ireneintheworld at 17:03 on 14 March 2008  Report this post
great stuff jennifer. i like the idea of it.

irene x

MarlaD at 17:11 on 14 March 2008  Report this post
Ouch! And I'm a girl..which is why it also made me smile..oh dear
Jed needs to get himself to Thailand within 6 hours..there was a thing on the radio the other day saying that phallus removal by scorned women has become common enough over there to have special surgeons! x

tusker at 20:19 on 14 March 2008  Report this post
Oonah, I won't show it to him. Don't want him to have nightmares. Thanks.

tusker at 20:21 on 14 March 2008  Report this post
Lovely revenge, isn't it. Thanks. He won't be much good in Thailand, it's gone!.

rebecca at 08:28 on 15 March 2008  Report this post
Hi Jennifer

Very enjoyable read. The emotions and situation seemed very real, another d*ckhead - is there a theme developing here?

Rebecca
xxx

tusker at 09:31 on 15 March 2008  Report this post
Thanks Rebecca. Don't know about a theme but as Gail mentioned, it seems to a popular way to carry out an act of revenge. We've a friend living with a Thai lady. Better warn him.

lrera at 18:56 on 15 March 2008  Report this post
Deception revealed is often the catalyst for mayhem. I like the idea of discovery, but the end is too predictable. Take us somewhere we haven't been.

I liked this line:

But now I've come to realise that those promises and his love are stagnant like fetid water in a shallow pond.





novodantis at 19:08 on 15 March 2008  Report this post
Zing! Powerful finish to quite a patient, subtle inner-monologue. Very nicely done =)

~Alexander

tusker at 07:34 on 16 March 2008  Report this post
Thanks Lou.

Jennifer

tusker at 07:37 on 16 March 2008  Report this post
Thanks Alexander. Even a worm can turn.

Jennifer


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