Black Mamba
Posted: 14 March 2008 Word Count: 252 Summary: Week 98 challenge
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My hand shakes at the thought of what I've done. Jed's a fine looking man. Upstanding within the community, serving, he claims, those without a voice. But in private, his generous mouth is black, as black as a Mamba's mouth, uttering lies, twisting truths into sly innuendos.
Once I believed in his promises. Once I believed in his love. But now I've come to realise that those promises and his love are stagnant like fetid water in a shallow pond.
In the past, I blamed myself for my own inadequacies. A man in his position, I reasoned, expects more from a wife and could be forgiven for the judgements he's made upon me.
But yesterday, I discovered his final betrayal in a letter sent from his latest mistress and our vows, the fluid words and endearments he once uttered, I now know are just a cruel sham.
And I guess this woman, like the others, fell for Jed's mesmerising allure. Women can be such fools, repeating the same mistakes others have made over and over again.
I remember how I fed off his words. Accepted his excuses. But on reading the letter, discovering that their child will be born in May, a child he's denied me, all my beliefs, forgiveness, hopes have crumbled into despair.
So now Jed lies at my feet, blood spreading from a gaping hole in his groin and I tell him, above his cries of agony, that the community he serves will soon learn about his cruel duplicity.
Comments by other Members
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Forbes at 16:00 on 14 March 2008
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Jennifer
Stunning! Wow!
One tiny pick...and as usual tell me to sod off, but I'd put the word "all" in between like & others
And I guess this woman, like all the others, |
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Stunning though, spiffing, sharp & brillinat.
Oh btw - I liked it!
TFR
Avis
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tusker at 16:48 on 14 March 2008
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Thanks Avis. Started another one but this popped into my head early this morning.
Jennifer
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V`yonne at 17:01 on 14 March 2008
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You're hubby reads that, Jennifer he'll be in a different room like a shot and with a bolt on the door! He'll be hoping you have a firm grasp on reality.
stagnant like fetid water in a shallow pond. |
| Fav line.
Oonah
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MarlaD at 17:11 on 14 March 2008
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Ouch! And I'm a girl..which is why it also made me smile..oh dear
Jed needs to get himself to Thailand within 6 hours..there was a thing on the radio the other day saying that phallus removal by scorned women has become common enough over there to have special surgeons! x
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tusker at 20:19 on 14 March 2008
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Oonah, I won't show it to him. Don't want him to have nightmares. Thanks.
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tusker at 20:21 on 14 March 2008
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Lovely revenge, isn't it. Thanks. He won't be much good in Thailand, it's gone!.
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rebecca at 08:28 on 15 March 2008
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Hi Jennifer
Very enjoyable read. The emotions and situation seemed very real, another d*ckhead - is there a theme developing here?
Rebecca
xxx
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tusker at 09:31 on 15 March 2008
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Thanks Rebecca. Don't know about a theme but as Gail mentioned, it seems to a popular way to carry out an act of revenge. We've a friend living with a Thai lady. Better warn him.
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lrera at 18:56 on 15 March 2008
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Deception revealed is often the catalyst for mayhem. I like the idea of discovery, but the end is too predictable. Take us somewhere we haven't been.
I liked this line:
But now I've come to realise that those promises and his love are stagnant like fetid water in a shallow pond. |
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novodantis at 19:08 on 15 March 2008
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Zing! Powerful finish to quite a patient, subtle inner-monologue. Very nicely done =)
~Alexander
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