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Wake

by Cholero 

Posted: 16 February 2008
Word Count: 300
Summary: Week 189 challenge.


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In the middle of the empty room stood a pine coffin, open.

Iggy had invited no guests. His grandmother wouldn’t have wanted it, he told people. And anyway, what a ridiculous expense for a dead person.

He had no intention of staying sober himself, however. ‘Ah, dear Granny,’ he said each time he took a sip of whiskey. ‘Dear old Granny.’ He let out a laugh. He admired his youthful face in the mirror.

His rich youthful face.

Dear old Granny had done well. A shrewd lady. For two decades a cosmetics company had paid a large annual fee for her potions. And for a photo of her looking, in old age, like a woman of thirty.

Ma Sullivan’s Anti-Ageing Cream. It Works Like Magic.

‘It sure does,’ said Iggy, and he laughed again. He raised his glass. ‘What a clever old witch you were.’

And what a strong old witch, he’d thought when he held the pillow onto her face. Who’d imagine a person could take so long to die?

‘Some party this is,’ said a voice.

Iggy stared at the coffin.

'I said, some God-forsaken party this is.’

‘Granny?’ he said.

‘I've seen Presbyterians have more fun.’

He dropped the whiskey bottle.

‘Not only a murderer,’ said the voice, ‘but cheap.’

He looked into the coffin. On his grandmother’s face there was no movement. Only a silent, wide-eyed scream.

‘You user, you sponger. You cheap little prick,’ said the voice.

Iggy plugged fingers into his ears, to no avail.

‘Hey pretty boy! Go look in the mirror.’

What Iggy saw there made his heart stop mid-beat. His face rapidly fattened, then sagged. Then it wrinkled and shrank. It became the face of a bitter, sad man.

A man in his nineties.

'Call it inheritance tax,' said the voice.
















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Comments by other Members



V`yonne at 22:19 on 16 February 2008  Report this post
Pete, I just love this and I think Nathan at Micro Horror would too but of course you may have plans and he doesn't pay but Ooooh GRANNY! I loved the names she called him and serve him right!!

ireneintheworld at 22:21 on 16 February 2008  Report this post
love it love it love it. this is fabulous. you get a real explosion of satisfaction at the end. well done caroline.

irene x

<Added>

caroline? sorry pete!

MarlaD at 23:38 on 16 February 2008  Report this post
Wow! Bloody brilliant! x

Elbowsnitch at 08:24 on 17 February 2008  Report this post
Ooh, what a wonderful revenge Granny takes on Iggy. With dreadful speed - love it!

What Iggy saw there made his heart stop mid-beat. His face rapidly fattened, then sagged. Then it wrinkled and shrank. It became the face of a bitter, sad man.


Also love the 'Pretty boy!' as Granny squawks like a budgie from inside her cage/coffin.

Really great horror flash, Pete!

Frances

Prospero at 09:30 on 17 February 2008  Report this post
Excellent, Pete. I really liked the way you didn't have granny come clawing out of the coffin, but just the silent wide-eyed scream. I am sure MicroHorror would snap this up.

Best

John

tiger_bright at 13:44 on 17 February 2008  Report this post
Brilliant flash, Pete, no wonder you were Elbowsnitch's first choice for judge in my absence! This made me laugh, gave me the creeps and will stay with me, I think, for a long time.

‘Not only a murderer,’ said the voice, ‘but cheap.’

and
‘You user, you sponger. You cheap little prick,’ said the voice.

Great insults! I love Granny. She deserves her own series.

Terrific flash!

Tiger

titania177 at 13:59 on 17 February 2008  Report this post
Brilliant, Pete, wonderful flash! Send it somewhere, now...!

Tania

Cholero at 16:54 on 19 February 2008  Report this post
Oonah

Thanks for the response! Much appreciated.

Pete

Cholero at 16:55 on 19 February 2008  Report this post
Irene

Thanks glad you enjoyed it.

Pete

Cholero at 16:55 on 19 February 2008  Report this post
MariaD

Thanks!

Pete

Cholero at 16:56 on 19 February 2008  Report this post
Frances

Much appreciated.

Pete

Cholero at 16:57 on 19 February 2008  Report this post
John

Thanks for reading, v encouraging.

Pete

Cholero at 16:57 on 19 February 2008  Report this post
Tiger

Thanks for that enthusiastic reading. V much appreciated.

Pete

Cholero at 16:58 on 19 February 2008  Report this post
Tania

Thanks!

I'll let it sit for a bit then maybe test the water somewhere.

Pete

tusker at 14:24 on 20 February 2008  Report this post
That was great. Dear old granny having the last laugh.

Jennifer

Cholero at 15:09 on 20 February 2008  Report this post
Jennifer

Thanks.

Pete


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