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by Beanie Baby 

Posted: 31 January 2008
Word Count: 65

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My heart drums

as another teenager
dies on the street,
another family
is shattered,

as babies are born
into poverty and
innocent children

as pensioners
struggle to survive
and keep their

as blood seeps
into the ground
upon which
we tread,

as animals are
stolen, tortured,
killed or

as each day
begins beautiful
and fades
to plain.

My heart drums -

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Comments by other Members

sarah3891 at 15:41 on 31 January 2008  Report this post
I LOVE that final line!

And I think this is a very honest, touching piece.

My only crit would be the line 'Animals are stolen' - I like the 'human' element of this and it just jarred a little there - though (and this sounds horribly macabe and morbid) but that verse would still work if it referenced children/people?

Great though. Loved it!


Patto at 00:31 on 08 February 2008  Report this post
Hi Beanie
I misread the end of the penultimate stanza as "fades to pain." Which is paradoxical, but seems to work, too.

"Heart Music" really resonates with me - when I look at the cruelty that goes on,it's so depressing it sometimes feels tempting to just shut one's eyes to it all. But I guess if poetry is about anything, it's about being awake to what's happening,being a witness to the times you live in; about truth-telling.

That second-to-last stanza's lovely, you know - a metaphor for lives, and even for civilisations.

I like what you've done here - drawn some sketches that stand for the helpless and mistreated, and cradled them in your
(troubled) heart. Lovely. Thank you.


Beanie Baby at 15:54 on 06 February 2009  Report this post
Thank you both for your comments. I had completely forgotten about this poem ; in fact have no recollection of uploading it at all, which may go some way to explaining why it has taken me over a year to come back to you.

I will bear your comments in mind if I ever decide to re-draft this.

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