FAITH by degas - WriteWords.org.uk

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FAITH

by degas

Posted: 12 October 2003
Word Count: 43

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Though faith has instilled a glory,
It is a glory that can be beaten.
Your freshly moulded epitaph,
Rings true on this belief.
For are we not an animal?
Or are we dimensional soul?
This I strive to understand,
Realize, and take control

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Ticonderoga at 13:22 on 19 October 2003 Report this post

There's a superb germ of a poem here. I love 'dimensional soul'. Who's it addressed to and who's is the epitaph? I think you've compacted it too much. Is 'moulded' right? 'Graven' or 'carved' are cliched, but it might need a different word. Please expand this; there's a lot in here that needs more room to breathe.

Best,
Mike

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degas at 17:39 on 21 October 2003 Report this post

thank-you Mike
I just thought i would put this out into the world.it is something that has been hanging in my closet for years!
appreciate your comments as always
I'll take a further look at it soon

Regards

Colin

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