TWENTY-THREE
Freezing wind hit my face as I left the pub. I didn’t hold the door open for Kevin. I walked quickly down Stanhill High Street. It was quiet apart from a can being blown about, and dull apart from the lit up signs of kebab and pizza takeaways. Kevin hurried after me.
‘Tash, what’s wrong?’
‘Nothing. Like Karen said, we were just talking about silly stuff.’
‘So why you being funny to me?’
‘’Cos I’m in a funny mood.’
‘Well, stop it!’
I sighed. ‘Alright. Sorry.’ I slowed down a bit. He put his arm round me. Then he tried to put his other arm up my jacket and tickle me.
‘Stop it!’ I giggled. Then I pulled my elbow back and swung it into his ribs.
‘Awwww! You have to kiss me to say sorry for that.’
‘No, I don’t.’
He stood in front of me, blocking my way. I tried to walk round him, but he had hold of me and again I was lost in all the padding of his jacket. I had no chance, anyway, seeing as he was the strongest in year ten. He kissed me with a cold beer mouth.
I felt his phone vibrating against us from inside his pocket and then some garage tune blared out, all tinny sounding. He made a muffled sound of protest and pulled away from me, tugging the phone from his pocket. He put it to his ear.
‘What’s up? Fuck! Alright, I’m there.’ he slammed the phone shut and grabbed my hand. ‘Come on.’
He turned and started to run back up the hill towards The Welly.
‘What? What’s going on?’ I panted. ‘Don’t fucking pull me!’
‘Matty’s having a ruck. Come on.’
‘Fucking hell.’ I followed him. We ran a bit past the Wellie and round the side of the cab office next door.
I could see a group of people in the shadows. Voices hissed. We moved closer. Matty and a tall, skinny blonde guy I didn’t know were facing each other. They both took small steps so they were moving round in a circle, still facing each other, like boxers in the ring. Matty’s face was ugly and twisted, his eyes dark. The other boy was holding Matty’s gaze, but his eyes were wide and scared. Surrounding them were Marlon and Dave and two other guys I didn’t know. Ryan had turned up from somewhere too. Where was Karen?
‘No one mugs me off,’ growled Matty, sounding just like Kevin after that fight at the party.
‘Matty, man, I weren’t ...’
‘Don’t bullshit me, you fucking prick!’
The circle slammed shut as Matty lurched towards the other boy. I couldn’t see what was happening. Kevin was growling, ‘Go on, Matty!’ He was jumping up trying to see over the heads of the others. I edged away. The small crowd thrusted towards me and I ran back further.
‘Fucking kill him!’ shouted Marlon.
‘Ssh!’ Dave glared at him.
I got a sudden glimpse through a gap and saw a flash of something — Matty had a knife. Kevin had moved closer into the group. I could hardly see him. I jerked my head around. No one else was around.
‘Awww! Yes, Matty! Yes, Matty!’ That was Marlon again. At the same time, the group of people launched sidewards again. There were scuffling sounds. Then people were running, shoving past me. I was being pulled away.
‘Come on!’ hissed Kevin. But I turned to look. The blonde boy was lying on his side, bent double. One of his mates was crouching by him, talking urgently into a mobile. Everyone else had run off.
‘Tash!’ Kevin yanked me. I staggered, but he kept me upright. Matty was ahead of us and we followed him, across the road and down a pissy-smelling alleyway I’d never noticed before. It seemed to go on forever. Then we ran down some cracked stone stairs and stopped at the bottom. There were some garages on one side of us and a rusty wire fence on the other side. It separated us from the the Tube tracks. There were empty Special Brew cans everywhere.
Matty was pacing up and down, breathing heavily. Then he broke into laughter. ‘Fuck, man! Fuck!’ ‘Did you see that? Did you see him go down? Little prick.’
‘Matty, where’s the knife?’ asked Kevin.
‘Hold on.’ Matty rustled around in his pocket. He pulled out a little folded rectangle of paper and unwrapped it carefully. There was white powder inside. He took a pinch between his finger and thumb and inhaled it up his nostril, than again several more times. He screwed his face up and snorted loudly. ‘Fuck!’ he said again.
‘Matty,’ said Kevin. ‘The knife?’
‘Don’t have a fucking baby!’ said Matty. ‘I’ve got it here.’ He tapped his right-hand jacket pocket. Then he looked around, walked over and picked up a wet Tesco carrier bag that was on the grass by the fence. He pulled the small knife from his inside pocket. I could see dark blood on the end. Matty placed the knife into the carrier bag.
‘How bad do you reckon it was?’ asked Kevin.
Matty shrugged. ‘He’ll probably live.’ Then holding the bag in front of him, he nodded towards me, whilst looking at Kevin.
My heartbeat was going triple its normal speed. Despite the cold, I was sweating inside my coat.
‘Tash?’ said Kevin.
‘What?’ I whispered.
‘Would you take it?’
‘What?’
‘The knife. Would you hide it for a bit? No one’s going to suspect you. New girl in town, good at school and all that.’
‘Hide it where?’
‘Don’t worry, you can keep it in the bag. Your prints won’t be on it. In your garden or something. Just for a bit.’
‘Fucking hell, she looks like she’s going to cry,’ said Matty. He lit a cigarette.
‘Shut up, Matty,’ said Kevin. ‘Come on, Tash. I wouldn’t ask you if anything bad could happen.’ He put his hand on my cheek, did that stupid puppy dog eye thing again.
I sighed and it came out all shaky. ‘OK,’ I said.
Matty held the bag out to me, with a bored look. I took it, holding it slightly away from my body.
‘We’d better move,’ said Kevin. He put his arm round me.
‘Chat to you tomorrow then,’ said Matty. ‘I’m going to see where Marlon’s gone.’
We turned to walk back the way we had come. Matty walked off in the opposite direction.
‘You alright?’ asked Kevin.
I held out the carrier bag to him. ‘Can you take it for now at least, while we’re walking?’
He shrugged and took it. Scrunching the bag up around the knife, he put it in his back trouser pocket, under his jacket.
‘Sorry about all that, man. The bloke Matty was fighting, it all goes way back. Matty had to do it, man. He’s had it coming. That’s safe of you to help with the knife, though.’
‘I’ve got to get home. Are we going to walk past The Wellie again?’
‘Nah. It’ll be crawling with old bill.’
Kevin led us down another alley I’d never been down before. We came out near the bottom of the High Street near the library. There was a new shop that had just opened. It had been a bakery before. The new sign said Ken’s Barbers. It was still open. There were five or six black men in there. One was having his hair cut; the others looked like they were just sitting around chatting.
Kevin clicked his tongue when we passed.
‘Shit, man, another shop for spades. They’re taking over.’
I stopped and turned on him.
‘Do you know what, Kevin? You make me sick.’
‘What?’
‘Just everything. The racism, everything.’
‘I’m not racist. I’ve got loads of black mates.’
‘Well that just makes you two-faced. And what about calling Hyun ‘Tiddly’? And that night you called that cabdriver a paki?
‘Alright, I admit, I don’t like pakis.’
‘But you love Indian food. And you listen to all black music. You’re pathetic.’
We reached the crossing. The green man was flashing. I ran across the road. Kevin didn’t make it before the lights changed and a row of cars pulled off in front of him. I heard him shout faintly under the sound of their engines and the wind.
He caught up, just as I got near the end of my road.
‘Tash!’
‘You’d better shut up now,’ I hissed. ‘If my mum hears anything ...’
He pulled me. ‘Look, I’m sorry you had to see the fight and everything, but I promise it’ll be fine with the knife. Something was up before that, though, weren’t it? In the pub. Please, Tash ... tell me what’s wrong.’
His face looked desperate. I carried on walking then stopped.
‘You’d better stop here,’ I said.
‘Don’t leave it like this, Tash. Alright, I’m sorry for saying that racist shit. Now what else have I done? Why were you upset?’
‘I’ve got to go.’ I put my hand out. ‘Give me the stupid knife, then.’
He pulled it out of his jeans and passed it over.
‘Tash, tell me.’
I glared.
‘I might be pregnant,’ I said. ‘And don’t come after me ’cos my mum will batter you. And don’t tell no one.’
I clutched the knife against my chest and ran towards the house.