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The Eagle`s Last Flight
Posted: 24 November 2007 Word Count: 187
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The Eagle’s Last Flight
his mate gone the eagle soared into the high places grief-driven wings beat the air in angry futile desperation higher and higher faster and faster his passion drove him towards the baleful sun
the watchers waited bate-breathed for the weariness the exhaustion of flight to bring the eagle down to earth but on and on in the cool clean air he rose in an ecstasy of unformed unsolaced pain
nature will out the watchers thought blood and sinew feather and bone must soon succumb to the gravity of even solitary life but the eagle’s strength undimmed unspent drove him ever upward
sadness but no regret filled the watchers eyes privileged to see passion unrestrained love free and unconfined delight in sacrifice upon the restless air love elemental life in measured time mocked in its timidity
as the final shadows of the eagle’s ebbing flight fell upon the indifferent earth he flew towards the arms of pain releasing night carried on the friendly wind he climbed towards the clouds then with unbeating wings fell from the sky - dead before he reached the earth
Comments by other Members
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joanie at 19:55 on 24 November 2007
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Hi Zettel. I found myself reading this again and again. Some phrases leapt out at me: grief-driven wings, bate-breathed, unformed unsolaced pain, life in measured time/mocked in its timidity.
I'm sorry that I'm resorting to a cliché but it is very thought-provoking!
I enjoyed the experience very much.
joanie
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DeepBlueGypsy at 09:29 on 25 November 2007
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Z-the imagry here, for me, was beautiful. Funmy thought, the eagle is the US National Bird- a monogamous bird, but the divorce rate is at an all time high here. Maybe we should instate the Least Flycatcher as the new National Bird!?? Thanks for sharing- wonderful! Divi
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Ticonderoga at 14:49 on 25 November 2007
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Very powerful, with much allegorical & metaphorical vibration.......man! Listen to me......Great piece. Enjoyed.
Best,
Mike
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Zettel at 18:24 on 25 November 2007
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Thanks all. The image of the eagle keeps recurring for me. Thanks especially Divi - I didn't know the eagle was monogamous but it is so 'right' for the imagery that he/she is.
Ti - good to know there is an allegorical/ metaphorical 'vibe' I didn't write it as either - I hate that - I didn't know how the poem would end until after I had started it. It, and the eagle sort of took me on a journey if that doesn't sound daft.
Thanks for all the comments - it isn't always true by any means but I kinda liked this one.
regards
Z
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V`yonne at 22:24 on 25 November 2007
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I loved it all, the internal rhymes the assonance, the rhythms
sadness but no regret
filled the watchers eyes
privileged to see
passion unrestrained
love free and unconfined
delight in sacrifice
upon the restless air
love elemental
life in measured time
mocked in its timidity |
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reminded me of Icarus in his flight towards the Sun. To dare to die.
If I had one thing I'd change it would be the last two lines. I'd swap their position so that 'dead' is the last word. But that is just me and I make no pretence at being a poet let alone an expert.
I very much enjoyed this.
Oonah
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Zettel at 23:36 on 25 November 2007
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Oonah
Glad you liked it. Interesting point about the last two lines. Most of the poem tumbled out almost complete in a way poems do for me at the moment which is a bit weird. But I had to struggle a bit with the last two lines you mention. This was my thinking: death as an occurrence, an event, usually the dramatic focus being so monumental. However the spirit of the poem, what drives the eagle to do what it does is precisely to defy 'death' as the most important thing - his flight is a gesture of defiance to death to say compared with love it is nothing - rather than to be avoided and feared simply to be challenged and sought because love is the stronger force. All a bit romantic I suppose but then I guess its no secret that much my non-philosophical poetry is unashably romantic.
So it is not the dramatic fact of the eagle's death that is important but the meaning he gives it by why he seeks it beyond all 'reason'. It is important therefore that he dies as INTENDED not as a result of mere exhaustion and hitting the ground. Thus the order of thelast two lines was forme essential to the spirit I wanted to convey. Love becomes the VALUE to which witness is given and death merely a fact among others in the world.
thanks for the comment regards
Z
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Ticonderoga at 14:21 on 26 November 2007
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Z -
What do you mean you hate all that??
That's one of the ways in which poetry enriches us - taking on a metaphorical or at least wider application beyond the ostensible idea.........
You're a man who loves Native American writing and thought, which are instinct with such things.......so, why the poo-poo?
;-) Mike
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Zettel at 18:48 on 26 November 2007
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Ti
I guess I had in mind the CS Lewis Narnia-type allegorical form where a didactic religious message is wrapped up in a clever narrative designed to appeal to children so that they can be so to speak 'indoctrinated' with a message that was the main intention of the writer in the first place. For me the the writer only has one mistress - the tuth - and the truth belongs to no-one. It is not to be manipulated for some further purpose the writer has.
If it makes any sense I don't think we can 'command' language although it is an idiomatic expression in our language. I think all creative writing is a journey of discovery and at best language is a guide not in a sense simply a tool to be used. we cannot respect the truth without respecting language so setting out with an allegorical intent is for me repecting neither. That does NOT mean that allegorical resonances may not emerge from thought and language. And when that happens then the result surely is truly in the spirit of what an allegory should be. That probably doesn't square very well with the dictionary definition of 'allegory'. But there - as SuperTed used to say "thanks what I think about it anyway."
You will detect a return to the theme of our recent long thread in this. As for Native Americans the place of language in their culture increasingly fascinates me. Without prolonging this - I am struck that because the focus of most movies is the injustice done to Indians, we never hear what must have been the the real cadences of their langauge - i.e when children are just chattering 16 to the dozen, women and men gossiping and laughing with their language at full tilt. The technical problem of language in movies involving Indians is that they are always portrayed uttering short, pigeon-English sentences which gives them a kind of monosyllabic conversational form that even when we see it as conferring as kind of 'dignity' is still not perhaps true. Someone should make a film of Indians where the non-warrior parts of their extraordinary culture is the focus (say a love story) and it should be made like saya modern French film where the full speed and cadences of the original language are preserved and we are given meaning through sub-titles. There is the root of a stereotpye of an American Indian that has been created simply by the technical limitations of representing their speech in a form that is accessible to a popular English-speaking audience.
I trust I make myself obscure? As ever.
regards
Z
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V`yonne at 20:59 on 26 November 2007
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I'd like to see that. Like in the 13th Warrior where Antoio Banderas graudaully learns an unknown language...onlt it wasn't very well done but it offered a taster.
Someone should make a film of Indians where the non-warrior parts of their extraordinary culture is the focus (say a love story) and it should be made like saya modern French film where the full speed and cadences of the original language are preserved and we are given meaning through sub-titles. |
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Get writing.
Oonah
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