Login   Sign Up 


The Little White Rabbit

by ian kenson 

Posted: 20 November 2007
Word Count: 276
Summary: As a young boy, each Sunday at tea time, our father would carry on with a story that he appeared to make up as he went along, our youngest sister always invited a friend, as he continued the story it got more outragous, as kids we laught at his way of telling, as he put in voice changes and expressions which always added to the flavour, after weeks of this story the poor girl our sister brought must have been very hungry as she never ate anything, because she was laughting to much.

Font Size

Printable Version
Print Double spaced

As he woke up, he could smell the sweet scent of grass racing out of the burrow, into the bright sunlight he did not see the men stood around the burrow entrance, they grabbed at him, missing him as he dodged about, oh fiddle sticks he thought, immediately all the men fell to the floor sawing back and forth, the little white rabbit stopped and stared, and laughted, not realising what he had done, the fiddle sticks were getting caught in the grass, in holes, tiny squeaky voices came form them, help us they shouted we don't want to be fiddle sticks, the cow and the sheep in the field came over hearing the vioces, nosed around at the sticks, oh,crickets he thought, every thing around began hopping and jumping about, tiny voices from the men crickets, moo's and bah's from the cow's and sheep crickets, laughting he rolled over, now he realised it was him, he hopped away, at about 50 feet there was such a commotion all of the crickets had turned back into men, cows and sheep, were running around trying to avoid each other, slowly they all ran away, slowly he stared around turning as he did so, finding his self right in front of fox, I'm invisible he throught, the fox blinked, the rabbit had been there, now no rabbit, he sniffed the ground, yes the rabbit was there, but where, he let out a yelp as his nose was bitten, but no one was there, next some think bit his leg agian he yelped, turning he ran away, after 50 feet he looked back, there was the little white rabbit.

Favourite this work Favourite This Author

Comments by other Members

fluffybunny at 19:46 on 11 December 2007  Report this post
Hi Ian
I'm relatively new to this site and noticed you had recently uploaded some more of your story. Sorry Ian I just don't get it? It's more of a random rambling than a story, it's hard to read with only commas for punctuation and lots of typos. Who is your target audience?
I like the idea of a continuation of a story (ref your overview) but really not sure this would appeal to an adult reading it to a child (what age?) or to the child - perhaps you could ask more questions - what do you think happens next .....
I liked the idea of fiddle sticks and crickets that made me smile but it got lost in all the words!!
hope that helps and prompts more feedback

To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .