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Local Knowledge revised form your comments

by V`yonne 

Posted: 20 October 2007
Word Count: 729
Summary: A Granny M series story. NOT FOR A CHALLENGE but thanks to anyone who reads it and comments.


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Granny M had been knitting but the needles had dropped to the floor when she’d dozed off and now it was after two and she hadn’t had her lunch yet. She grumbled crossly to herself as she headed towards the kitchen. Hearing a noise in the yard, she abruptly opened the back door. Three hoodies were standing by the shed, up to no good by the look of it, but they stopped - startled as she came out.

Their inaction gave Granny a moment to think. “Hello there boys,” she said. “Do you know I’d forgotten all about you coming today?” Granny M smiled with feigned composure.
“Did you?” said the tallest.
“Aye! But I’m sure Mr. Foster did tell me it would be today,” she rattled on “And it’s a pleasure always to have you boys come and lend a hand.”
“Mr. Foster?” asked the shortest lad, confused.
“Aye, Mr. Foster,” nudged his mate, “You know!”
“Och aye, Mr. Foster!” he nodded taking the hint but as confused as ever.
“Well,” said Granny M. “As you see you don’t need a key to the shed, for I’ve left the wood stain and brushes there, still in their bag.”

Her grandson Tom had brought the stuff for the fence last week but she hadn’t got round to putting it in the shed yet and the weather had been so fine, it didn’t seem to matter.
The three boys looked at each other in dismay. Granny M. continued to stare at them and smile – a picture of expectant calm. There seemed nothing for it but to pretend they’d been sent by this Foster guy.

“Now,” said Granny, addressing the tallest lad, “I’m sure I know your mother, for you’re the spit of her.”
“Who?” He enquired, sure the auld biddy would get it wrong.
“Well, I would say, Sheena Anderson – as was – she’ll be Mrs. something now, of course. Such a pretty girl, Sheena and you have her green eyes.”
The youngster looked astonished which told Granny she was right. “Oh no, she’s still Anderson,” said his mate.
Granny ignored that. Things were different since her day. She looked at the speaker. “And would your daddy be Stuart Arnott, or maybe Wesley?”
“Stuart is his Da!” gave away a dumbfounded screech. She surely must be a witch or something.

Granny was pleased with herself. Now that they knew that she knew who they were, the game was up. “I’ll just leave you then, to get on and do the fence,” she said and went in and locked the door.

When she looked out, there was some kind of altercation going on between them. The third boy was aguing with the others. Granny lip read from behind the net curtains. She got the gist of it.
"Well she disna ken my folk an' A'm not paintin' her damned fence for her!"
"Come on Stu, we have tae stick thegither."
"A tell yous what then, you two can stick what yous want where yous want! A come tae do a job but this wasna it! A'm awa hame." And off he marched.

Half an hour later the two of them were still painting away although the third boy had gone. When they’d finished they knocked the door politely.
“There you are Missus, all done.” Somehow they’d slipped into the role expected of them.
“Thank you boys,” said Granny, appreciatively looking at the fence in its new livery of green. "Only two of you? Where's your wee friend?"
"He had tae take aff."
“Never mind. Tell him, 'thank you' from me. Now, would you like some tea?” She had her fingers crossed behind her.
“Oh, no don’t trouble yourself Missus, we’ll have to be away now anyway.”
“Well, here’s a donation for your work. I’m sure Mr. Foster the scout master will be pleased when I tell him how polite and helpful you boys were.” She gave them each a coin and sighed with relief as she shut the door but Granny couldn’t help smiling as they took to their heels down the lane.

When Tom came round to paint the fence she explained, “A couple of young lads came and did it for me." He looked at her suspiciously so she turned away to fill the kettle and added, "I think they may have been boy scouts, you know.”






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Comments by other Members



crowspark at 00:00 on 21 October 2007  Report this post
Hi Oonah

This is an engaging story.
I was half expecting some revelation about the third boy...
Clearly she didn't think they were scouts so I wasn't entirely sure about the ending.
Thanks for the read.
Bill

V`yonne at 00:44 on 21 October 2007  Report this post
Thank you for reading Bill. :)

I suppose it's the same difficulty I get with the genie. The MC only makes sense if you read them together. Granny M is a wiley wee scot and she'd never admit being scared or wrong. So she is being overly matter of fact. Pretends to be deaf, brave, scatty...whatever suits her purposes.

She'll come a cropper one of these days.

Oonah V'yonne

Damn! Went and put my real name again...

Prospero at 05:17 on 21 October 2007  Report this post
Hi Surface

Great story. I really liked Granny M. They don't make 'em like that any more. Brewed fra' girders.

Best

John

tiger_bright at 09:32 on 21 October 2007  Report this post
Hi Oonah, I picked up on the fact that Granny was faking nonchalance and she did a great job of stripping away the hoodies' equally fake nonchalance - they were a match for each other, I felt. Not sure why the third boy ran off - maybe have him hang around like the others, just because otherwise as Bill says it does seem significant and the reader expects a payoff. I guess Granny lied to Tom about the "boy scouts" because she didn't want him worrying about her?

Tiny typo, although you might've meant it phonetically: "“Oh, know don’t trouble yourself Missus, we’ll have to be away now anyway.” Should that be "now don't trouble yourself?"

Hope this helps,

Tiger

Jumbo at 11:13 on 21 October 2007  Report this post
Oonah

Great story. Love the character!

That last line: I wondered if there was a small hint that Granny was not telling the complete truth, such as

And when Tom came round to paint the fence she explained, “A couple of young lads came and did it for me.' She smiled and then added, 'I think they may have been boy scouts, you know.”

Just a thought.

Thanks for the read. Great fun,

Frank

Forbes at 12:38 on 21 October 2007  Report this post
Oonah - a fun read. If Mr.Foster is the scout master - you didn't make it clear. Loved the idea of her bending 'em to her will - way to go gran!

TFR

Avis

V`yonne at 13:04 on 21 October 2007  Report this post
Aye Sean, made frae girders!! :) Sarah, thanks for that pic. I don't see them once I've made them!! Tom would have told her off too I think. Maybe I'll have that other boy hang around. It would increase the tension too. And Jumbs, I'll see about that last bit.

Much appreciated, all of you!
Oonah


V`yonne at 14:54 on 21 October 2007  Report this post
I think this reads better now...

crowspark at 18:01 on 21 October 2007  Report this post
Much better, and explains her hold over them.

Jumbo at 19:07 on 21 October 2007  Report this post
Yes ... very smooth!

I like it.

Forbes at 22:59 on 21 October 2007  Report this post
Sorry to be dim...but I still don't get how Mr Foster spurs them to action. However, I think it's a really good piece and I really like it!

Avis

V`yonne at 11:57 on 22 October 2007  Report this post
Hi Avis, It's not really Mr Foster...he doesn't exist. Granny made him up in fact and I may have to make that clear. It's the fact that she knows their parents. The boy who leaves is a hardened thug but these two can go either way. It's amazing how if you expect a certain type of behaviour, most people will live up to that.

That's what's wrong with society. You destroy the concept of society, and you also destroy the expectation that people will behave in a socially responsible manner and so they don't.

So my wee story is really a social comment you see.

And thank you John and Bill for taking the time to read again. xx

Forbes at 22:47 on 22 October 2007  Report this post
No I got the tags re parents - it was Mr Foster & the scout master refs which stalled me. I really liked it - as I said way to go Gran!

Avis.


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