Promotion Dreams
Posted: 19 October 2007
Word Count: 59
Summary: I have the opportunity to apply for promotion at work, and my ambition is taking over. I feel the need to progress and I am hoping to make the most of this opportunity.
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My blood pumps!
My skin burns!
Thoughts of success
set fire to my soul,
adrenalin ignites my heart.
I thrive on opportunity!
I strive to achieve!
A compilation of ideas
overfills my head,
my mind is in overdrive.
I want it NOW!
I want satisfaction!
Full of hope, ambition,
my racing heart aches
with the urgent need to succeed.
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Comments by other Members
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 joanie at 22:00 on 19 October 2007
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Lisa! Go for it if that's what you want! This is energising; part of me wants to tell you to take it easy, think it through, do you really want all that stress....?
Yet the enthusiasm is electric! Good luck with the application.
I like the pattern of this on the page.
Joan
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 Tina at 11:00 on 20 October 2007
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LIsa
I would echo Joanies sentiments - go for it - but with care for yourself - stress is a real killer - just enjoy it and good luck.
Enjoyed your poem - liked the repetition of I,I,I - great stuff - just the energy to get a new job / promotion.
Let us know?
Tina
x
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 James Graham at 11:42 on 21 October 2007
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I like the honest, up-front expression of feeling in this poem - of the passion for success. I suppose it's a passion that some poets might affect to deprecate, but it's as real as any other. The poem is halfway to being a song or even a hymn - there's a pattern to the verses, each one beginning with exclamations and the rest of the lines of each verse having a rhythmic pattern too.
One word strikes me as the wrong choice - 'compilation'. It suggests something too neat, organised, carefully assembled. At the moment captured by the poem, ideas are popping up, jostling for position, crowding the brain, overflowing. I feel you need a word that expresses that better - that suggests a less tidy, less manageable bundle of ideas. Oh, what's the word, what's the word...?
The form gives the poem much more impact than if it were a less formal free-verse piece. There's the repetition of 'I' and 'My' too, as Tina mentions. Your 'electric' enthusiasm seems even more so because of the form.
James.
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Ticonderoga at 15:03 on 23 October 2007
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Well, that nails it! Hope you don't feel quite so strained and stressed as the poem does! Good pice with a strong immediate impact.
Best,
Mike
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Jordan789 at 20:32 on 24 October 2007
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James said, "I suppose it's a passion that some poets might affect to deprecate"
agreed.
This sort of reminds me of the voice of Lisa Simpson, the daughter character on the Fox TV show, The Simpsons. She is a brainy, overachiever, and this might as well be her words. The character provides many good episodes, with her nerdyness being very much at the center of things, but the character only has value because there are other characters there to balance her out, by throwing an ice cream cone at her head.
It's my opinion that any poem that uses similar word descriptions as 1980s acid rock music, (including but not limited to: blood pumps, skin burns, set fire to my soul, ignites my heart, my racing heart aches), should probably be rewritten.
Jordan
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Ambitions of Lisa at 16:41 on 30 October 2007
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'Guidelines: We want this site to be a positive experience for all our users - please make all comments as constructive as possible !'
The pieces I write come from my heart. I do not necessarily write to please other people, and judging by the last comment on this piece I'm ever so glad I don't.
Was there anything constructive about that comment? Or did I miss something. I have nothing against polite criticism and positive encouragement.
Thanks to all other readers for your thoughts. Much appreciated.
For those who showed an interest in the promotion, I have a second interview in the next few weeks. Will keep you posted.
Lisa
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Ticonderoga at 17:29 on 30 October 2007
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Lisa -
Fret not; I've read many of that individual's postings and they are generally pompous and graceless and toe-curlingly (oh, no! a cliche!) self-satisfied........let it wash over you.
Most people are on this site to support and encourage and, when qualified - like James - to suggest, positively, possible alterations. Some are unfortunately merely here to blow there own tarnished little trumpets>
Write on!
Mike
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Ambitions of Lisa at 17:44 on 30 October 2007
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Thanks Mike,
I am having a bad day and probably posted my comment before thinking about it; however I do agree with you. I have also read a lot of the postings you refer to and find them to be rather insulting toward the work and thoughts of others.
Nevermind....I'm grateful to yourself and other members of the group, and of course James for words of kindness and encouragement.
Lisa
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Ticonderoga at 18:09 on 30 October 2007
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No, you were right to say what you did...........
Hope your day brightens (damn! another cliche - no escaping the buggers, is there?)................
Best,
Mike
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.JPG) Zettel at 22:46 on 01 November 2007
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Ah me
Not only is planet Jordan a strange place. It's an unpleasantly graceless one too.
Right on and write on Lisa.
best Z
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