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Away with the fairies.

by Bobo 

Posted: 06 October 2003
Word Count: 26
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Zig-zag consciousness
floats along the horizon,
reaching,
child-like,
for the star of truth.

Pounding heartbeat
inside my torn head,
the rhythm,
my drum-beat,
carries me on.









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Comments by other Members



Fearless at 19:14 on 09 October 2003  Report this post
It's a little disconcerting; the first stanza fits with the title, but the second stanza sounds like a battery bunny (from the duracell tv adverts). May need to read again later.

F
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Bobo at 19:19 on 09 October 2003  Report this post
...just the place I was in at the time...
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Ticonderoga at 01:01 on 10 October 2003  Report this post

This is potent stuff. You are a diarist-poet; a condition I understand very well. What you are experiencing comes down your arm, into your pen/typing finger and on to the page. Poetry should be (or seem to be ) this. One small warning from personal experience: don't rely too heavily on the poem-diary; make craft more important than confessional, or you'll pour your self away like so much spilled ink.............
But, even though you've not replied to me, I think your work is wonderful.

Love and Mercy,

Mike
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peterxbrown at 00:00 on 11 October 2003  Report this post
I like the imagery of your work very much as it seems to operate on several levels. The rhythm is strong and I relate to the pounding inside a torn head and the relentless semi aware march to the beat of a controlling drum.
Brilliant BoBo!
peter b xx
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Bobo at 10:11 on 26 October 2003  Report this post
Hi Mike / Peter -

Thanks so much for your feedback. Sorry to not have replied sooner - I've just movede house and am only now back on-line.

With love,

BoBo
x
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