Login   Sign Up 



 

Carrot Stick Soup

by Rai15 

Posted: 05 October 2003
Word Count: 132


Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced


So sickly sweet
A love all ours
But a pain all yours
From a spite all mine

So the carrots in your bathroom
Through the message on your phone
From that pain in my hands
Fingertips on the mind and knives in the soul

And the stomach lining in your kitchen
Aside the soup that scolds your tongue
You still keep on trying to swallow
Until it finally cools too late

No more can it be changed
But could have been prevented
Not worthy for forgiveness
Please return my deserved cruelty

It rains so heavily indoors
Thunderous droplets and shivering pain
So much suffering now burns my soul
My insides torn for the loss of yours

Still you return
To that carrot stick soup
That causes the pain
And it’s neighbouring lining






Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



EmiliaDG at 16:19 on 26 March 2004  Report this post
Gosh, this is an intriguing one Rai. Like many of your other poems the first verse is utterly gripping. That is not to say that the rest of the poem isn't, just that the first four lines were really effective. With the first two lines the reader imagines this to be a love poem and you very quickly defy expectations and switch it on us with the third line and again with the fourth. Terrific!

I enjoyed this poem immensley.


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .