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The Girl Who Wanted To Be God

by hailfabio 

Posted: 10 July 2007
Word Count: 13
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She lied.
She lied.
She looked into my eyes,

and told the truth.






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joolsk at 15:16 on 10 July 2007  Report this post
Ooh Stephen, very intriguing indeed. I liked the rhythm of 'she lied, she lied, she looked into my eyes' and the abrupt truth line.

Repetition in such a short piece is often so extravagant but in this case I really love it.
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hailfabio at 15:31 on 10 July 2007  Report this post
Thanks! Yes I like the rhythm, Origionally it was:

She lied.
She lied.
She looked into my eyes,

and lied.


--------

Not sure if thats better.

Stephen
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joanie at 18:30 on 10 July 2007  Report this post
Hi Stephen. I think and told the truth is very much more intriguing, as Holly says. (I can't think of a better word!)

I do love short poems which set my mind spinning! This would be good spoken aloud, because there could be such a wealth of meaning injected into those few words.

joanie
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Beanie Baby at 20:59 on 10 July 2007  Report this post
Whole volumes spoken in those few words. Cleverly expressed.
Beanie.
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smudger at 20:45 on 14 July 2007  Report this post
Hi Stephen.
Nicely rhythmic and the last line contains a wealth of possible interpretations.
Tony
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