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Haiku 1

by Barney 

Posted: 30 September 2003
Word Count: 11
Summary: My son, aged nine months.
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Sleep, porcelain babe
To comprehend virgin dreams.
Your face: your conscience.






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Ioannou at 07:50 on 01 October 2003  Report this post
This is very good. But strange. The first time I read it without reading the summary and found it a haiku with a bitter end - watching a lover sleep and then hinting that they might have guilts. But then I read your summary. And read your haiku a completely different way! I liked it both times. Love, Maria.
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ccatherine at 13:15 on 15 October 2005  Report this post
How beautiful and yet strange. Porcelain babe perfectly captures the image of a baby but also could be a lover [a very good image for Haiku]. "Conscience" at the end does for me suggest guilt as it conflicts with virgin dreams. I really like this.

C
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