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Society`s Murder
Posted: 29 September 2003
Word Count: 83
Summary: Read it, then feedback on what YOU think it's about.
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Bleeding, seeping vein
My wounded wrists
Bruising, breaking, pain
Sickness encase me now
Peace for all
That death is bound
Something falls
A million people jumping down
Screaming, no sound
Inflict my head
The circle comes around
Orbit me
So many more
Alone in community
Lie crying on the floor
I know this feeling
Every time I die
An emotional revelation
Learning to feel and to fly
Expand my soul
When we stop passing
See our world
We can start lasting
Society’s misfits
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Comments by other Members
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 Bobo at 16:23 on 30 September 2003
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Hey Rai - a powerful piece. Such a sense of being alone, of not being understood, of not belonging. For me it's about mental illness...what's it about for you as the writer?
BoBo x
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Fearless at 16:29 on 30 September 2003
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It's great Rai.........for me, it's about a choking isolation as darkness falls. I agree with Bobo about the mental illness, but it also strikes a chord with me about being in the shadow of anguish, pain, loss and frustration.
You write so well, please keep it up. Your mother not paid up for full membership yet?
Fearless
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Rai15 at 18:12 on 30 September 2003
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Thank you both for your comments, and no she has yet to find the patience to deal with 'PayPal'.
Toward the end of the poem it is about how people can feel so alone, as if something is only happening to them, but in truth hundreds of thousands of people are in the same position.
The earlier half of the poem is (very generally here) about pain and suicidal thoughts or tendencies.
But, of course, I always leave my poetry open for others to interpret it as they feel. The aim is, if one person feels something for each poem i write, i'll have achieved something.
~Rai~
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Fearless at 20:02 on 30 September 2003
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May you go on touching people, who in turn touch others, like dominoes.
Fearless
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 Ellie at 20:33 on 30 September 2003
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This is very powerful poem! It kept me reading and now i want to read more! Power to young writers :-P. Lots of luck!
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elliegator at 13:05 on 02 October 2003
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This is a great poem Rai. Keep writing, hope u get full membership soon.
Ellie
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Rai15 at 18:26 on 02 October 2003
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Thanks Ellie, both of you, unless you're the same person... I'm easily confused! Hopefully my subscription will be processed soon, as i paid two days ago. This is by no means a subliminal message to the higher authorities in the world of WriteWords. :)
Thank you to anyone who's commented, and to anyone else who wants to, do feel free!
~Rai~
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