MORTAL GOD

In an Asian Battered Women’s Home

Social worker: So Sonia, this is the fourth time you have come to us?

Sonia: Yes, I do not know where else to go..

Social worker: Can’t you go back to your parents?

Sonia: No, if I did it would bring shame on them.

Social worker: How can you talk like that in today’s day and age, I mean we are in the 21st Century?

Sonia: Today’s day and age may have changed for some but for us poor Asian girls it has NOT. The laws are there, but the social and cultural laws never change, at least not back home. Even in England it is the same but it is hidden and not spoken off openly.

Social worker: What do you mean?

Sonia: I mean, girls from poor families are not educated highly if ever, they are not economically independent. Even if they work and are the main breadwinner.

Social worker: If you were the main breadwinner you would have some power?

Sonia: No, it is a curse to be a girl or a woman. They say when a girl is born the father and or brothers look after her while growing up. After marriage it is the husband, and in old age it is the son, so you see a woman is never independent like the man is.

Social worker: In a marriage, it is equality and respect for each other that is important. You do not have take abuse and violence like you are.

Sonia: ‘Pati is parmeshwar’, Husband is GOD.

Social worker: What a mortal god? Who says? Come on Sonia, come into the real world. There are no Gods in real life are there? Otherwise you would not be here today.

Sonia: Our religion and culture.

Social worker: How can husband be God when he abuses you? Beats you black and blue? Destroys your confidence and freedom to think and live. Rapes you and takes your money away. This is not what the religion or the culture says. The religion and culture says respect each other am I right?

Sonia: This is our conditioning, the way we have been brought up.

Social worker: Look ‘Pati is parmeshwar – Husband is GOD’ only when he treats women equal and his wife as ‘Patni Parmeshwari – Wife as a GODDESS’. Don’t you think that if a woman has to think of her husband as a GOD then he has to think of his wife as a GODDESS, huh?

Sonia: Yes, but what can I do? This is a male dominated world. I will be outcasted by by family and community.

Social worker: If you allow it to be. You can change things for yourself. I am not saying it is easy but you can do something to help yourself, especially in a country like England where there are laws that work, help and support available to you. Take this help and help yourself and others like yourself. You may not change the whole world or society, but you will contribute something towards that change through your stance.

Sonia: I have studied up to metric in India, which is like GCSE only and I have been working in this food factory which makes food for a major airline since I came here.

Social worker: That is what seven years ago?

Sonia: Aha.

Social worker: Well, you have work experience and some literacy skills. That’s a start. You can always build on these skills.

Sonia: What about my 2 children?

Social worker: You can get help with them also. You can study part-time and work part-time. There will be help given to you and your children.

Sonia: It means I have to leave my husband?

Social worker: Either that or stand up to him.

Sonia: If I leave him will I get protection from him?

Social worker: Off course. He would never know where you and your children are.

Sonia: I would like to start a new life. Make something of myself and my children.

Social worker: Brilliant. Think positive. Get a life.