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Smiling that smile
Posted: 07 May 2007
Word Count: 150
Summary: For the 150 one five zero challenge
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Sandra smiles one of her smiles, but it isn't designed to radiate warmth, understanding, compassion. It is a warning, of upcoming savagery.
"Why are you doing this to me?" Sandra hisses, and the girl sees, bubbling underneath the older woman's skin, a tempest of bile about to be unleashed.
The girl zeroes her gaze in on the mole on Sandra's right cheek and her fingers itch with longing to rip into that browned wart and watch it ooze.
"Witch," she whispers, "may the devil drag you to hell where you'll burn five colours bloody."
Sandra moves towards her, the smile growing until her mouth yawns black and her eyes sink back into her skull. She raises one hand, manicured steel nails at the ready. "I curse you," moans the girl as Sandra seizes her hair, pulls her head down and lowers her lips to the young girl's soft white neck.
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Comments by other Members
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 Prospero at 13:41 on 07 May 2007
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Well done Tania, you have ticked off all the requirements in a quite eerie and engrossing tale.
Best
Prosp
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 tractor at 15:10 on 07 May 2007
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Hi Tania,
liked this. Blame, disdain, desire and despair in 150 words. Prospero's numbers have certainly worked the magic.
Mark
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tiger_bright at 15:39 on 10 May 2007
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Hi Tania, this packed a punch. I liked the lushness of the prose, very evocative, especially:
| you'll burn five colours bloody |
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Fabulous image!
Tiger
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Jumbo at 17:22 on 10 May 2007
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Nice writing, Tania.
Some great images - perverted desire and a grisly end - just what we need!!
All the best
john
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titania177 at 18:22 on 10 May 2007
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thanks Prosp, Mark, Tiger and John - I thought my story wasn't going to get any comments because it's too "perverted" and "grisly"! Thank you for commenting.
Tania
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crazylady at 19:29 on 10 May 2007
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Ooh -er Tania,
Scary or what?
I thought only librarians had hairy warts, but it seems vampires have them too!
Or are all librarians vampires?
A great flash, you warned me in the first line - but I carried on reading.
How I enjoyed this.
Cheers
CL
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Forbes at 11:11 on 11 May 2007
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Here's a nasty little tale - and I mean that in the best possibl sense!
I did get a little confused with the shes - but I think that was just me!
I did want the girl to whip out a weapon - but you had no word count left!
TFR
Forbes
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Dreamer at 04:37 on 12 May 2007
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Hi Tania,
I liked this very much. My only quibble was this:| "Why are you doing this to me?" Sandra hisses, |
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Is the girl saying this or is Sandra hissing it?
Lovely flash, well told.
Brian.
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 crowspark at 11:23 on 12 May 2007
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You start with a smile and then twist into growing ferocity! Love it!
| "may the devil drag you to hell where you'll burn five colours bloody." |
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and even better
| the smile growing until her mouth yawns black and her eyes sink back into her skull |
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Black and back doing fine work here.
Great flash.
Thanks for the read.
Bill
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choille at 22:24 on 12 May 2007
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Great stuff - sounds like a bitch fight - so the boys will love it - especially with those almost lesbian overtones - what with the lips an all.
Great flash - very visual.
Caroline.
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