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Talk It Over

by LONGJON 

Posted: 27 September 2003
Word Count: 163
Summary: Something for adults this time!


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Must I rewrite the sunlight or change the season
When little sense and much less reason
Bids me so.

Must I portion the self or sell the soul
For florins or gold or an older toll
To ease this batter

Could we strike a new bargain, spit
On the hands and shake for eternity
Or more, perhaps.

And should the bargain be hollow struck
What then, you say, as if there is hidden
A new finger pointing.

Does the path end here, out in the open
Where all can see and say their piece
Or does it go on.

Is the untaken road still there for the walking
Should the feet be shod in new leather,
To box the compass round.

Is distance the cure, to muffle the clout
And clatter of this suppurating ailment
Or is it a trickery

And if so, who the tricker, who the tricked
Are they one and the same, twins in a mirror
Thieves stealing each other.






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Comments by other Members



LONGJON at 21:07 on 02 October 2003  Report this post
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

So what do you reckon then, a load of pretentious crud???



Tina at 16:26 on 06 October 2003  Report this post
Interesting that I wrote a whole load of stuff and forgot to press the submit button and all was lost - guess thats fate for don't write bullshit - anyway - I liked the complexity of this and the questioning - reminded me of Omar Khyam (can't remember how to spell it!) -
'Ah love could though and I with fate conspire
Would we not grasp these sorry things entire and
rebuild them close to our hearts desire'

or something like that
Speaks of yearning and hope
Like your complex metre too
Wonder - do you think it pretentious?
Tina
x

LONGJON at 11:16 on 07 October 2003  Report this post
Hi Tina,

Many thanks for your comments, I did the same thing the other day, wrote several paragraphs and forgot to hit "submit".

I didn't think Khayyam was still read,timeless isn't it?

"Take all the worldly goods, but in lieu
Let the beauty of nature renew
And at night on the grass like dew
And in the morn take me away from view."

Did I think it pretentious - no, not really, but it was getting so little response I began to think that that might have been the reason, that others viewed it as such ( as they are completely entitled to do, of course)

Again many thanks,

John P.



fevvers at 17:11 on 10 October 2003  Report this post
Hi

That's interesting Tina, it's not the Edward Fitzgerald translation is it?

John

Yes, Khayyam, Hafez and many other Sufi poets are still read, there's a huge following in America.

Cheers



peterxbrown at 00:41 on 16 October 2003  Report this post
I have just discovered your complex and stimulating poem and would not describe it as pretentious in the slightest. I am moved by the "path" imagery which seems to describe not only the changes, choices and challenges within an established (ending?) relationship but also our contract with life itself,a journey on which we grow old but struggle to keep young; the effect of our futile negotiations with time passing like theives stealing each other. I also found the new finger pointing a superbly stimulating line.
Thanks Longjohn. peterb

LONGJON at 08:36 on 16 October 2003  Report this post
Hi Fevvers,

Most interesting - what do you think of the poem?


Hi Peter,

You always post such thoughtful, and insightful, comments, for which my thanks.

It certainly was about reaching a point where there had to be a decision, and it would be irrevocable. Life is like that, isn't it, and we don't always have the control we might like.

Many thanks

John P.


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