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The Real Reason That Dinosaurs Became Extinct

by Mickey 

Posted: 03 April 2007
Word Count: 174


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The pre-historic Dinosaurs,
were monumental, crashing bores.
Too dull by far to please their mate,
which is how and why they met their fate.
Cosmic collision’s an erroneous theory –
So let me tell you what happened really:

If (say) Tyrannosaurus Rex,
had concentrated more on sex,
there would have been a whole lot more
‘next generation’ Dinosaur.
Instead, he made his missus yawn –
so there were no more T-Rex born.

Then there was Triceratops,
Again - at mating - total flops,
who like their mate, the Diplodocus,
on their love life wouldn’t focus.
Which is why, you can be sure,
the Diplodoci are no more.

And Stegosaurus, far from mating,
just bragged about his armour plating.
“Sod the armour – more amour!”
craved the lady Stegosaur.
But he just spoke of ‘blokish’ things
(like car enthusiasts’ piston rings)

What is more, in actual fact all
Silly flying Pterodactyl
preferred the thermal currents instead
of getting Mrs P to bed.
The doomed race thus became extinct –
‘bored to death’ to be succinct.






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Comments by other Members



roger at 09:51 on 03 April 2007  Report this post
Mike, this is sooooo funny. Brilliant & very clever.

Roger.

V`yonne at 15:07 on 03 April 2007  Report this post
And Stegosaurus, far from mating,
just bragged about his armour plating.
“Sod the armour – more amour!”
craved the lady Stegosaur.
But he just spoke of ‘blokish’ things
(like car enthusiasts’ piston rings)


I just loved this. So Jeremy Clarkson! Thanks for a brilliant laugh.

RadiantWithTerror at 17:37 on 03 April 2007  Report this post
Just the premise of this poem is funny, 'cos really, it's scientifically proven that dinosaurs were completely awesome. But I love rhyming poetry when it works, too, and there are some great rhymes here, but you diffuse any would-be pedant by shoving 'theory' with 'really', and nobody minds. I asked the lady in Borders the other day for a book On Dinosaurs, For Adults, Please, but the closest she could get was something not quite related by Richard Dawkins, so I had to go back to my sticker books and Jurassic Park novelizations. I really like this poem. Bye!

RadiantWithTerror at 17:41 on 03 April 2007  Report this post
Oh, having said that, my assertion that dinosaurs were awesome doesn't disprove your reproduction theory. I've never thought about dinosaur sex before, and doubt even the dinosaur books for adults would have much on it. Bye!

V`yonne at 23:14 on 03 April 2007  Report this post
That's a good point. Dinosaurs are usually sanitised out of the sex market. You have a GAP.

joolsk at 23:27 on 03 April 2007  Report this post
Mike,

Thanks so much for a late night laugh - comic poetry usually isn't my bag but this was so funny and unusual in subject that it grabbed me instantly.

I've just showed this to my scientific husband and he said seriously... "It's funny that..." and then launched into something about mass and gravity of the larger dinosaurs - not exactly the karma sutra!

Brilliant!

Jools

joanie at 00:03 on 04 April 2007  Report this post
Very clever, Mike; this is excellent. You know that I just love rhymes!! (And so do most people, if truth be known!)

Very thought-provoking, too!

Joan


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