Login   Sign Up 


Google Subversion

by Jeremiad1971 

Posted: 30 March 2007
Word Count: 464
Summary: A surreal tale of poker from a few months ago. Hope it stands up.

Font Size

Printable Version
Print Double spaced

I was recently introduced to Google Images, an option just above the main search bar that allows users to search for pictures.

The delayed email, advising me of this wonderful feature, arrived at 1.30am.

I was in the middle of a losing internet poker session, on a site that had had a Halloween make over. The first time I was aware of the new graphics was when I noticed an avatar wearing what I thought it was a burqa. I thought it was a bizarre commentary on the veil debate or the site trying to recruit 25% of players from non-gambling communities.

Turned out it was a white sheet, designed for acquisition of M&Ms.

Anyway, I had a large pumpkin on my head and I just lost half my stack to a guy with a hockey mask.

“Give this a go, see who you can find”, read the email.

It had to be an improvement.

For the first five minutes, whilst still playing poker, I went along predictable lines; wonders of the world, women and old school friends. I then opted for family members and was disappointed to discover no representations. There were people with the same name but no actual images of my four siblings.

I decided to put my name in. I was fairly sure it would be unsuccessful as I have never added an image, nor had I been posted there for work or activities in the criminal community.

It is a very surreal experience looking at images of namesakes.

It became worse when I saw a graveyard.

It was my tombstone.

And there were no fresh flowers.

I had to play a hand of poker as I had a pair of jacks.

I raised the stakes and found myself heads up against the East Anglian Dracula: not live, from Norwich; it was the hand of the week.

The communal cards were dealt - jack ten ace.

I had three of a kind, a monster hand.

I went in for all of my chips.

“Call”, said the undead.

I watched the chips go into the middle and the next two cards were a blur as the software, keen to keep things moving and the pennies rolling in, does not pause when all of the money has gone in.

The chips were fen bound.

He turned over queen king and had flopped “Broadway”, a straight ten to ace, a hand that beats my three of a kind.

The light went out on my pumpkin.

“Would you like to rebuy?

It was nearly two in the morning, there was no one around, it was cold, I was losing money, I had a pumpkin on my head and I was staring at a tombstone with my name on it.

“Fuck it, I’m all in!”

Favourite this work Favourite This Author

Comments by other Members

roger at 13:50 on 30 March 2007  Report this post
LOL...David, this I LIKE! Okay, I shouldn't be laughing at your misfortune, but then you shouldn’t have taken your eye off the ball. Professional gambling, as you well know, requires concentration, and buggering about with new Google features whilst risking good money is not to be recommended. I hope you learned your lesson!

A nice piece. I enjoyed it.


V`yonne at 15:26 on 30 March 2007  Report this post
Know nothing about poker but I loved

“Call”, said the undead.

and I think the final line is perfect.
Thanks for the read.

Jeremiad1971 at 15:28 on 31 March 2007  Report this post
Hi Roger,

So sorry for the delay but I had forgotten to add "email notification" and was unaware you had commented.

I am really glad you enjoyed it - I certainly learned my lesson - don't fuck with Dracula.

All the best


Jeremiad1971 at 15:34 on 31 March 2007  Report this post
Hi Oonah,

Sorry for the delay but I was unaware of your comments - my stupidity - I did not put email notification on.

Rteally pleased you liked it, especially as you don't know the game as that suggests it can stand alone.

Thanks a lot for your time and your thoughts.

All the best


JenDom at 16:48 on 31 March 2007  Report this post
Hello again

So you were distracted by google images whilst playing poker online.


Tsk, tsk!

But must have been freaky seeing your tombstone huh??

A surreal weird and very strange snippet of your gambling life!


Jeremiad1971 at 17:56 on 04 April 2007  Report this post
Hi Jen,

So sorry for the delayed acknowledgement - dammned email notification is not on.

Thanks a lot for reading this piece. Playing online poker is, at times, a highly surreal experience and I hope this provided a quick taste.

Thanks for your time.


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .