It's 20 years since the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (or Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles for those of you who fear that the word 'ninja' has the power to turn children into violent thugs) made their US TV debut, and they had a few years of success, and a couple of big movies. Not bad for a bunch of adolescent reptiles. But time does not stay still, and you cannot stay a teenager forever. So, with a return to movie screens, do we find that those turtles are no longer teens, but in their mid-thirties? Are they more Mid-life Mutant Crisis Turtles than Teenage Ninjas?

Maybe Leonardo, so long the leader of the bunch has gone from strength to strength, promoting his turtle buddies as the ultimate crime fighting force. Or, more likely is the scenario in which he rejects the responsibility he was burdened with for so long, sells the turtles wagon which could comfortably accommodate all four, and replace it with something sporty, like a Porsche, which is completely impractical for the day-to-day routine he's grown so sick of. What's more the appeal of the sewer may be diminishing; it may have been cool to hang out there in his younger days, with easy access to the city, but the noise! Somewhere in the suburbs grows ever more appealing for Leonardo these days.

Party dude Michaelango surely wouldn't change though, would he? You'll still find him out on the town, and wolfing down pizza that's for sure, but it's not the same. No longer is he the cool unique dude, but the creepy middle-aged chap who hangs out at bars and makes the youngsters feel uncomfortable. And no longer can he wow a dance floor with his moves - the last time he attempted a shell-spin he put his back out. As such he's not getting so much exercise, and his metabolism's not what it was - he's practically tripled in size.

Donatello, from a distance, may appear the same. Still he sits at a desk, beavering away on inventions, but what you may not see is the stack of letters from the patent office, rejecting his ideas, and the growing hatred of a world that just keeps taking, and never gives anything back, a world that doesn't value his genius. What's more, whilst his early inventions used to help the turtles in their crime fighting exploits, he now spends most of his time inventing tools to dispose of unsightly nose and ear hair, and stop turtle skin from wrinkling, particularly around the neck.

Raphael was always the rebel, going out and doing his own thing, willing to take on the enemy single handed, and more often than not, come out victorious. But now? He's still rebelling, but against his bank. He ain't paying no overdraft fees, he'll take his business elsewhere, ha! Right now he's on the march, but not out to battle, but to the newsagents to buy some notepaper, he has angry letters to write to local politicians!

Somehow, I’m not expecting the movie to be a success…