The yellow ‘plane flew overhead
trailing a thirty-foot banner which read,
"Happy Birthday Annie Green"
All over town it could be seen.

Her friends in Annie’s W.I.
smiled enviously towards the sky.
But Annie wasn’t pleased - you see
she craved her anonymity.

For many years (Don’t ask me why)
Annie’d been a Russian spy.
Admiring Mikhail Gorbachov
(she’d always thought him quite a toff)

she’d written and said "Mr G
would you please consider me,
for vacancies that might arise
amongst the ranks of Soviet spies?"

The weeks went by, and then at last
a letter had come second class,
franked with the Kremlin’s monogram
and forwarded from Birmingham.

Her spy kit followed in due course -
Recorded Post by Parcel Force -
and ever since then Ann has been
‘Secret Agent Annie Green’

But now this greeting up above her,
was threatening to blow her cover
and, though it was a nice surprise,
it’s not the thing for Russian spies.

So Annie went up to the loft,
where she kept her Kalashnikov
and brought down to the back door porch
her stand by hand-held rocket launcher.

The hired pilot ("Dreams ‘R’ Us")
Ann’s cruel intentions didn’t suss.
He thought that she’d be cock-a-hoop,
so did a fancy loop the loop.

He looked at Ann down in the street,
and flew his ‘plane at fifty feet,
when, much to his complete surprise -
Annie blew him from the skies!

(R.I.P)