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Opinions
Posted: 20 March 2007
Word Count: 83
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When people talk about football
seriously
and at length,
it makes everything seems so pointless.
Somethings will help you to remember
you childhood adolescence,
where ultimately
you were at your happiest without knowing it.
It's quite possibly true that money would make anyone
basically happy
but not truely happy,
and there must be something in that.
I can't tell people what to think
though
I want to,
it's opinions that divide us and actions that bring us all back together.
In my opinion.
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Comments by other Members
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 joanie at 22:41 on 20 March 2007
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Hi Stephen. I think you could take the first verse and the last line - only - and get the same effect!
The sentiments in this are just so right!
joanie
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 V`yonne at 12:34 on 21 March 2007
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I think you have two different poems interlaced here; one about football and one about opinions. Now if you can take three highlighters and tease them apart,
football/ opinions/not sure
you could come up with two tighter pieces.
I liked everytrhing you say. Joanie is right. You may have a whole poem in the last line!
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joanie at 12:39 on 21 March 2007
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Hi again Stephen. I meant to say that there are a couple of typos: 'it makes everything seem so pointless' and truly. I also wonder about the repetition of 'truly'.
joanie
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 James Graham at 17:26 on 21 March 2007
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Hi, Stephen. I get the impression from the first verse that you wrote it five minutes after suffering a long serious conversation about football. It seems to come out of immediate annoyance and boredom. I'm interested to know - was it as immediate as that?
'Opinions are meaningless' - I know what you mean. I think of radio phone-in opinions. Everybody's opinion is supposed to be of equal value, even if it's uninformed and zero thought has gone into it.
| ...it's opinions that divide us and actions that bring us all back together |
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At first this line gave me pause. Is it true? Yes, opinions do divide us, especially uninformed and bigoted ones. But do actions always bring us together? Not if they're hostile actions. Still, your statement is about 80% true. Opinions divide us and civilised actions - including grown-up talk, talk between people who are ready to see the other's point of view, willing to give and take, etc. - do bring us together.
The last line is a neat twist. It implies that your opinion is wiser than those of the football bores; you can make a much better claim for it. Rightly so.
Some simple changes to make the third verse read better:
Some things will help you to remember
your childhood
and adolescence, when
you were at your happiest without knowing it. |
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Also, I wonder what you think of this change:
I can't tell people what to think,
even though
I want to.
It's opinions that divide us and actions that bring us all back together. |
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Not much to it, but I think it makes a difference.
I don't really agree that you need to make two poems out of this. For me the third and fourth verses are a little surprising but not out of place. It's as if you had been writing this poem on the spur of the moment, while still annoyed with the football bores, and you were thinking of some of the things that really matter in life, to compensate for the football trivia. Some thoughts worth thinking, to fill your mind and push the rubbish aside. I think these verses have a place in the poem.
I wonder if you could do without the second verse, as the title already tells us the poem will be a complaint about opinions; and your feelings about football and other such opinions are implicit in the poem anyway.
James.
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 hailfabio at 23:32 on 25 March 2007
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Thanks for the comments on this.
I can see why it might seem like two separate poems, maybe taking the second verse out would help it to be more tighter and concrete.
It isn't specifically about football, I included that to set the scene and give some context. This poem came about after enduring various phone-in radio shows that I really can't stand, I like football but I couldn't be bothered to talk about it for hours on end. Same goes for other topics, I really don't get the phone-in thing.
As for the last line, powerful sentiments yes and i wasn't particularly talking about conflict and war, but even so that somes up the human race, we haven't evolved that much really - we have different opinions and ideal, and when they are threatened we go back to our basic instincts to argue and fight. And in the end our actions whether they be peaceful or not tend to be the same.
Let me know what you think.
Stephen
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joolsk at 00:28 on 28 March 2007
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Hi Stephen,
I loved the sense of tight pointlessness coming across from your poem. I loved the age old boredom that you managed to communicate without sounding boring yourself.
The last stanza sounded a little too jaded for me, I would have preferred no 'normalising' of your theme, more general hilarity of the nonsense conversation that knits our society together.
Personal opinion though... generally loved it!
Jools
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