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Fences 2

by hailfabio 

Posted: 21 December 2006
Word Count: 143
Summary: hmmmmmmmm


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Content Warning
This piece and/or subsequent comments may contain strong language.


I lean my head
against the window pane.
The rattling makes my head bounce,
so I press my head harder
against the cold glass.
I'm comfortable there,
with senseless lyrics
swilling around with my evening thoughts.

Through my season-stained pillow,
all I see are fences
lining every route
and following the angry toots.
The air is filled with defences,
people feeling the need to
justify their actions and apprehensions,
usually to themselves.

I wish the driver could take more care
because my head is starting to ache
more than my neck can take.
I’m inside my own thoughts again,
time takes so long
and I'm not judging right or wrong
again.

Is there really something more to this
life?
Or do we just say 'fuck it'
and live for the moment?
Surely hindsight will tell me,
so why the hell do I worry.






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Comments by other Members



James Graham at 10:11 on 23 December 2006  Report this post
I hope this won't be too superficial, but time's a bit short today. I looked again at your poem 'Fences' and compared it with this one, and think 'Fences 2' works better because it's set in the context of a journey. The thoughts you express in it seem more real and convincing.

Seems to me the poem very successfully demonstrates what you say at the end about living for the moment. The journey is a 'moment' (a long moment...'time takes so long') which isn't easy to make the best of - trying to get comfortable, thoughts 'swilling around', trying to wring some significance out of your surroundings. The poem's speaker is very much in the present moment, rather than passing the time by closing his eyes and thinking of other times and places. The very fact that this wearisome journey produced a poem, makes the 'moment' valuable - it was worth living for.

Have a good Christmas and New Year.

James.

Tina at 09:07 on 29 December 2006  Report this post
Hi Stephen

First you are the only one in this group I don't have to apologise for being late to post - although it is a week snce you put this poem up!

Anyway what I like most about this poem is the idea of Fences - so much one can do with that as an image - the idea of being catured/ held in/contained/ restricted and in this poem you are captive in a taxi I presume and the only world is the moment of the journey. I particualrly like your ending and the way you draw together those ideas - asking the question about life is this all there is ?
I particulalry liked

[quote] time takes so long[ quote]

a sentiment I and I guess many others can resonate with

Thanks for this and Happy New 07 to you.

Tina


hailfabio at 14:03 on 04 January 2007  Report this post
Thanks james & tina,

You both picked up what this is, an attempt to capture a moment and show how much can go round our head in a moment depending on the mood.

Glad it was enjoyed.

Stephen


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