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Content to be human

by John G.Hall 

Posted: 05 December 2006
Word Count: 58
Summary: content to be...........
Related Works: A Disillusioned Angel. • 
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Content to be Human


the wintering sun is a pure child
in a dirty wind fingered heaven,

icarus sits quietly pulling feathers
from a fallen angels clipped wings,

and I hold onto the earth's reign
rubbing human clay into my heart,

God can keep his sky's limit
my love is buried with my tribe.



John G.Hall © 2006






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Account Closed at 10:11 on 08 December 2006  Report this post
I liked this very much - it's very good. But I think those couplets need to be single-spaced as a pair rather than double-spaced. Also there are one or two grammar points which need sorting - but otherwise great!

A
xxx
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Sazmac at 21:19 on 13 December 2006  Report this post
John,

I keep coming back to this - the transcend from above to below and the rooting in the earth. WHere did you get the human clay idea from. I had this exact feeling once when excavating a roman grave - the human that had turned to clay. Was really interesting.

Saz
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Beanie Baby at 12:28 on 24 January 2007  Report this post
This is quite provocative and I love the imagery; it has a nice feel of the mystic and ancient ruins. I think it looks good in all lower casing (with the exception of the 'G' on 'God' which gives the word itself some clout). My feeling is that you'd be better of with no commas at all, but that is just one opinion.
Beanie
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