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Posted: 16 September 2003
Word Count: 13
Summary: Haiku

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I saw Orion
In the eastern sky last night
Crisp spring mornings soon

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Comments by other Members

Account Closed at 22:23 on 16 September 2003  Report this post
And how I long for those mornings, even now! Lovely light touch in this one - a very Japanese nature feel too, also universal with the mentions of Orion and the sky. I felt as if a moment was being flung out to the stars for 2 gorgeous lines and then earthed again at the end. Fantastic

Anne B

LONGJON at 09:53 on 17 September 2003  Report this post
Hi Anne,

There is something special about a spring morning in Auckland, you wake early, there is no wind, the air is as soft as cashmere, a lone tui sings its head off in the pohutukawa. The traffic hasn't started yet, you can smell the jasmine as you walk across the dew crusted lawn and the early sun looks like a coronet.

That's why I don't think I could live anywhere else.

My thanks for your most generous comment, I hoped it would have a Japanese flavour.

Take care,

John P.

peterxbrown at 01:09 on 18 September 2003  Report this post
Yes I entirely agree that this is classic high quality Haiku and I feel just a little churlish to tentatively suggest you consider changing the final word "soon"!

Lisa at 19:51 on 23 September 2003  Report this post
Ah - a Southern hemisphere poem... would I be right in saying Orion is only visible in the Northern hemisphere in the winter? Whereas this piece celebrates the coming of spring. Like it.


Lisa at 19:53 on 23 September 2003  Report this post
Boy, I am such a geek sometimes.

Should also have mentioned that I love the change of viewpoint which is so Haiku - from present and factual to future and contemplation.


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